More cheating. "The Far Pavilions" aired on HBO in 1984, the cable network's first miniseries. However, it's an HBO miniseries in name only. It follows all the conventions of a network miniseries to the letter, setting a high standard of quality for coming HBO miniseries, but not at all setting a format. I don't mean that in a judging way, just a statement of fact. HBO would go on to reshape the miniseries format to suit the needs of its subscribers, but in 1984, it was merely doing what network television was doing, giving us lush romantic escapism through the miniseries.
It's 1865, during the Raj in India. Over the credits, we are shown a lot of history. A young British boy is orphaned, but raised as an Indian, servant to a ruler and friend of an adorable little princess there with whom he splits the pieces of a necklace. Killing a snake in the boy ruler's room one night, our hero is branded by the men who had put the snake in the bed to kill the boy ruler and then escapes to The Commandant (Robert Hardy, not playing Winston Churchill, for a change), who sends him to London.
He returns to India as Ash (Ben Cross), traveling with George Garforth (Rupert Everett). Ash is part of a native regiment, while George is part of a commercial house. Ash is welcomed by Indians, which baffles his traveling companions, who find it baffling. You see, the British fobs in India don't think well of the Indians, especially since "The Mutiny" that caused so much fear. Ash has trouble convincing them that India actually belongs to the Indians and not the British. Ash goes to his Indian friends, asking "for this night, let me be Ashook again." You see the conflict coming? Do you? You do, right?
On the journey to northern India, Ash regales his English compatriots with his history, getting insults hurled at him by George and the ladies, except for starry-eyed Belinda Harlowe (Felicity Dean). He returns to The Commandant for his orders, which include training a native troupe, but not "getting too close" to his men. He makes a jolly good time of it and even earns the respect of his men, but is a tough boss too. The Commandant has his worries because the men love him so much. "Let's hope he never has to choose between them and us," he snarls, hitting us with the coming conflict in case we missed it with the Brit nit wits in the earlier scenes.
There is another, more subtle, conflict in Ash. He was raised both Hindu and Muslim, so he "prays to the mountains" as his divine spirit, and we see him do it too. How many worlds can the poor guy straddle?
Ash goes to a British ball, with eyes only for Belinda, for whom he has competition in George. Ash wins the attention of his pretty blonde, though to the dismay of her mother. His way of getting in close with Belinda is to tell her yet more of his history, which is more for us than her, I suppose. Belinda luckily spares us too much in the way of maudlin memory by suggesting another dance. Not to worry, the memories come back on an otherwise lovely outing to tour the sights. He does shut up long enough at one point to kiss her, which of course she's been waiting for. A problem awaits Ash when he applies for permission to marry Belinda, but The Commandant refuses to give permission until Ash is 30 because "that's how long it takes to learn your trade!" He is then sent to the mountains to collect taxes, which he does with spit spot efficiency.
In a flash, Ash receives the news that Belinda is to be married to Sir Ambrose, a man old enough to be her father, though she denies that. "He gives me such lovely presents," she says, turning mercenary, which gets worse a moment later when she tells him they have turned George from their house because his mother was (get ready to gasp) a "half-caste!" Add to that a slap to the face from her and Ash stalks off to find George, drunk with loyal Mrs. Viccary (Jennifer Kendal), friend to all. George is now ignored by society, at least the part that knows. He's worried that everyone will find out and asks what Ash would do if everyone found out. Ash jokes, "I would shoot myself." I know, I know, subtlety is not the watchword here. To give credit to the writing, a scene is placed between Ash's advice and when he finds out George has followed it. Ash is so angry, he goes up to the mountains to live with the Indians who raised him.
It's a harsh life, in a cold climate and with only variations of ugly colors to look at, to make sure we understand what a harsh life it is. There are rival clans constantly trying to knock each other off, seemingly for the purpose of collecting rifles from dead bodies. Those rifles belong to the army, and Ash brings them all back, which puts the army in a bit of a bind. Though he's a "frontier hero," he also has to be reprimanded for deserting and doing it on his own. Ash is very valuable with the trust of the natives, so it's decided to keep him in the army but send him to another regiment, one where he has no friends.
He's sent to Wally (Benedict Taylor), a chipper handsome blond who sings because he's in love with a girl from his voyage who has tossed him out for an older man, causing an instant bond. Only Wally can make poetry out of it. Ash and Wally become such good friends that yet more crusty British officers have a reason to hate him, starting rumors that perhaps there is more to the relationship than just abiding friendship. Over the course of three years, they do become good friends, despite Wally's constant sicknesses (he has a boil on his bum at one point).
Ash takes Wally up to his beloved mountains where Wally sees the branding on Ash's chest. Hey, if Belinda isn't around to listen to Ash's past, Wally is. He is reminded of the lovely princess, who is actually one quarter Russian. "God knows where she is now," he says. Guess what, folks, she's in the next scene! Meet grown-up Anjuli (Amy Irving, done up in heavy dark make-up, and not at all convincing as three-quarters anything, let alone Indian!). She's still in the palace, though the new boy ruler is a pain-in-the-ass schemer.
Following that is a long scene where Ash chews out a bunch of officers and visitors in the club, which pisses off the guys who had him down as a homosexual previously. They are worried that his ideas will poison the minds of others, so the arrange to play a trick on him while he sleeps. However, he manages to subdue the entire bunch of them, with some assist from Wally and their own incompetence (this scene plays like a Matt Sennett homage).
Due to the fight, Ash is sent to escort two brides to their husbands (Anjuli being one of them, coincidentally), finally bringing our long-lost never-got-to-be-lovers together again after a huge amount of time. The first friendly face he sees is Koda Dad (Omar Sharif), the man who raised him and whom he calls father. He's Master of Horse and fills Ash in on all that has gone on in his absence. "How did you not know these things?" Koda asks, understandably (I was wondering the same thing). His excuse is he was too angry to be paying attention.
Ash gets his chance to see Anjuli under the most heroic of circumstances. Anjuli is riding along and there is a crack in the earth that almost causes her to fall down a mountain (okay, it's a hill and doesn't look very dangerous). Ash rushes in and saves her and her fellow princess, though Anjuli tries to avoid looking at him. The other princess is so shocked by the experience that they have to make camp for two days. Princess Shushila (Sneh Gupta) and her caretaker Kaka-ji (Christopher Lee) are at odds because Shushila wants to have fun, which is "not seemly" according to him. As for Anjuli, she's still wearing her half of the necklace, but doesn't seem to recognize her beloved Ash until she realizes he has the other half.
She shows up at his tent, breaking all rules of protocol and good manners. This has to be the least romantic reuniting scene in miniseries history. She's afraid for his safety and he's afraid for her honor and they speak in codes, stupid since they are the only ones in the tent. She fills in her part of the narrative in the now-expected laziness of bulk monologue. She claims not to recognize him, which is downright bizarre at this point, but it actually happens and she bursts into heaving sobs.
The Prince's younger brother shows up with Ash's nemesis, Biju Ram (Saeed Jaffray), the man who branded him. But, that only takes a second before Kaka-ji has to bore us with his backstory, his love for a half-caste, Anjuli's mother. I know the book is dense and beautiful, with so many wonderful plot strands, but unfortunately, like Michener and Clavell learned, some have to be cut.
Against warnings, the little Prince Jhoti goes riding alone on a wild horse, causing everyone to chase him. They stop the prince from going over a cliff, but unfortunately Ash is injured in the melee. Koda Dad is the happiest of all to see his adopted son return to life, but also shows Ash that horse did not bolt on accident. Someone is out to get the little prince. Is it his jealous older brother? Kaka-ji won't let Ash think such a thing. Is it Biju Ram, who is supposedly out of favor with the main prince?
Ash and Anjuli get to have a heart-to-heart since he's bed-bound in a tent. I would like to say there is chemistry between Ben Cross and Amy Irving, but it's too soon for that. It's still hard to get used to Amy playing an Indian princess. Ah, 1984, before political correctness invaded pop culture.
Unfortunately, Biju Ram knows it was Anjuli in Ash's tent and Ash suspects Biju Ram is behind the plot to kill the prince. Ash runs his theory across Koda Dad and also confesses his love for Anjuli and his desire for them to marry and escape everything. It's not a wise move, he's warned, but this is, above all, a romance tale, though cloaked in exotica and daring-do. Unfortunately, their budding love leads us smack into one of the hoariest of the miniseries traps: the slow motion montage. Ah, yes, our lovers go riding on their horses slow enough so that you can pop in a microwave dinner, wait for it, and still be back in time to arrive for the next line of dialogue. To cap it off, they have another heart-to-heart that goes in for heavy exposition. It's mercifully cut short by a gigantic sandstorm.
Now this I can get into. Here we have the adventure part of the story that has been sorely lacking so far. Oh, for crying out loud! The lovers escape into a cave in mere moments and finally get the chance to have their clinch. "Oh, my love, love me. Love me now," Anjuli says before they press their lips together and have a dimly lit sex scene right there in the cave. It's a long one too, and not even in slow motion. "I never meant this to happen," Ash says after they are done. "I did," Anjuli replies. She's wanted it forever. She knows she can now be married off, having known love, but he wants to run away with her. Since the movie is only half over, we have to invent excuses why this is not possible, such as "I can't leave Shushila. "If I'm not there to comfort her and love her, she will die." Oh, please! Let the selfish sister go and stay with the hunky man who loves you!
Anjuli has thought of everything, answering every question he has as a way to keep her. Yes, she can pretend she's a virgin for the man she will marry. Yes, she will keep his baby if she gets pregnant and raise it as a prince. Actually, she has a walloping grandiose speech about how much she would love that potential child and then insists they return to the others. Overwritten? You bet. Badly acted? You bet. But, these are the slings and arrows of outrageous romances. Luckily, it's Kaku-ji who finds the lovers and has a story all prepared for when they reach camp and have to explain where they have been. He knows full well what happened.
Pondering his fate at night, Ash is shot at by Biju Ram with his very own pistol. Biju Ram explains that his servant had stolen the guy and Biju Ram wanted to make sure it worked before he returned it, thinking Ash was an animal. All of this time, apparently, Biju Ram hasn't realized that Ash is the kid he tried to kill years ago! They have a fight and Biju Ram dies, but Ash manages to make it look like a cobra bite. There is only one button left near the body to prove that Ash was there...
Our army arrives in Bhithor, but it's not a welcoming place. First off, they are forced to camp outside the city walls in an indefensible position, which doesn't sit well with Ash, but Kaku-ji tells him to accept it. Then they find out the marriage contract needs to be redone. That means having to meat the Rana of Bhitor (Rossano Brazzi, looking more Indian than Amy Irving, but sounding more Italian than Sophia Loren).
So, now come the negotiations. One sticking point is Anjuli's age. The Rana thinks she's too old and unless her dowry is tripled, a sneaky way of making a ton of money, since she can't be send home; that would be a disgrace. Ash tells her, in a very impassioned speech, but Anjuli refuses to leave her sister in the clutches of the Rana, another of those roadblocks stuck in their way that has many a solution around it if they would bother to consider any. Right in front of old Kaku-ji, the two kiss big, with the whole violin section going hog wild. He chews Ash out a bit for causing Anjuli pain by loving her and then, to be polite, falls on his own sword a bit for his "negligence and folly."
Ash decides to move the caravan out, a dicey proposition as they are in a valley surrounded by forts on mountains that communicate with each other by flashing light off mirrors (it's 1865, pre-Twitter, so we have to accept there is no better way). When the Rana's soldiers go into the camp with guns, it gives Ash an excuse to threaten the Rana, telling him it's an act of war against the government and unless the princesses are received under the original contract, he will tell the army, who will depose the Rana and send him into exile. It's a ballsy move, but it forces the Rana's hand. Well, kind of, since the Rana gives the other side a palace to stay in that they have to pay for.
Using the lion's share of the budget, we're treated to a supremely long wedding ceremony. There are extra a-plenty, elephants, fire, food, gold, Hindu priests, acres of silk clothing, and a glowering Ash standing high above the ceremony all but putting a curse on the whole damn thing. He tells Koda Dad his "heart is breaking," which sucks because the festivities go on for a whopping three days. That means many more extras, now dancing, and a ton more glowering. As a last humiliation, Ash is forced to watch as Anjuli leaves with her new husband in the finale of the budget-blowing cavalcade.
Meanwhile, war has broken out in Afghanistan, and it's a bloody one. Our delightful blond Wally, too much missed, surveys the carnage with blood stains liberally applied to make it look like he was part of the action (remember, the budget is was spent on the damn wedding, so now we have to tighten our belts). He's part of a small retinue that has survived.
This brings the British further into Afghanistan and John Gielgud as Major Cavagnari (hey, at least he's not playing Indian) with them. Though the British did not win the battle, Cavagnari forces the Afgans to accept a British mission in their country too, at the threat of toppling the government and setting up a puppet government.
Ash and Wally are reunited, but Ash is gloomy over his lost princess, and in case you missed the last few hours, he fills Wally in on what happened in a few sentences. Ash gets even more depressing as he tells an optimistic Wally that the British are merely doing in Afghanistan what they did in India and it causes a rift between the two. Little Wally stalks off with, "go to hell!" which is about as mean as he gets.
At the Rana's palace, Anjuli thinks only of Ash, spending her scenes staring into space as her maids gossip and Shushila learns how to twist the Rana around her finger to win jewels. She's cut off from her sister and her trusted maid is killed.
Our hero resigns from the army, but with one condition, that he go to Kabul in native dress and spy on things until the British mission leaves. Doesn't sound like much of a resignation, does it? But, Ash doesn't exactly have much else to do. He could pine like Anjuli, but that would make the rest of the movie downright deadly boring, wouldn't it? Plus, it keeps him part of the plot as Cavagnari, with trusty Wally as his military aide, sets up the British mission in Kabul in an enormous palace. There are lots of politics going on, with Cavagnari the ultimate diplomat in wowing the Emir of Afghanistan with trinkets like clocks in appeasing him so that he doesn't realize he's losing his country. He even slings that BS at his own people, and since he's John Gielgud, they believe it.
Ash had predicted that the army would look to the British to pay back wages, though Cavagnari disagrees. He's wrong. Seemingly the entire male population of Afghanistan storms the British mission, where Wally has ordered that no one fire on them without his permission. At first, there is simply just a lot of fist pumping and yelling, but Cavagnari thinks he can halt the mob with a few well-chosen words, telling them he has no reason to pay them; it's an internal dispute for their Emir to handle. His words appease them for about 10 minutes before they are storming back through the barricades and Wally is leading the defense (with a pistol). Cavagnari is wounded, but is more concerned about the blood on his shirt and sends a man to get him a new one. Unfortunately, he takes another bullet, dirtying another shirt. He doesn't ask for a third shirt because he dies.
Wally, who once again looks fetching in combat, and who can kill anyone with his pistol without actually aiming, has barely enough soldiers left to defend the mission, but insists on fighting on, in slow motion so Ash can watch him die and then get shot himself. He's okay, but before he leaves the decimated mission, he, with the help of the whole violin section again, carries Wally's body to a cannon, placing it there and draping a Union Jack over him. Awwwwww.
This whole last section, with politics barely explained and a rather wan battle scene, is only a distraction from the main love plot. Ash returns to Koda Dad to find out that the Rana is dying and, as custom, his wives will be burned with his body. Ash asks everyone for help, but he is turned down. Even the telegraph operator won't help, but not to worry, there's a trusty carrier pigeon that aids communication (what, no mirrors?). Ash races to the Rana's palace, to be informed that the Rana is expected to die that very day.
The conflict is back. You see, it's custom to burn the wives of a dead ruler and if Ash tries to stop it, the people will rebel. Ash threatens to bring the Raj, but everyone knows they won't help. "I will let you know when I have worked out a plan that will succeed," Ash tells his pals petulantly. Hmmm, should he respect the customs of the people who raised him or spit on them by the people who birthed him? A half a scene later, he realizes there is no plan that will work, so he throws his arm around his chum and says, "let's go eat, I'm starving." Boy, he gives up awfully easily!
No, no! A meal and a touching story by a servant later, he's determined again to rescue his beloved.
And then Rana dies, loudly, so Brazzi can have one last moment to ham it up (it's a small part, but don't tell him that). Ash joins the massive crowd of mourners drooling over the prospect of watching the pyre. The next scene goes to Shushila and Anjuli, where Shushila reveals that she's jealous of her half-sister and has caused her all the pain at the palace. Shushila refuses to let Anjuli burn on the pyre and "defile the Rana's ashes." But, just when you think that's the escape clause, Shushila says she's made "other arrangements." Just what that means, she doesn't say, but it gives hope to Ash. Now, come on! Do you think Shushila is going to let Anjuli off that easily?
Plus, we know how devoted Anjuli is to custom, and when Ash shows up to rescue her, she refuses to go. She has found out that Shushila's plan is to have Anjuli's eyes poked out after having seen her die with the Rana's body. That is the ultimate revenge, but Anjuli would rather do that than escape with Ash. For crying out loud! But, to satisfy him, she will allow him to shoot her sister dead once the pyre starts going to spare her the fear of burning alive. Once that happens, Ash and Anjuli hightail it out of the palace.
Eternal happiness does not come so quickly. It's discovered that Anjuli has escaped and a posse is sent after them. Anjuli's horse is shot out from underneath her, but she is safe. Ash leaves her with his trust men and goes back to fight. He promises Anjuli he will return with giant kiss. Ash, Koda Dan and a doctor get to fight the army sent after them. What ensues is a fight straight out of the American West, with Ash as the fast shot who can pick off four men with one pistol before they can aim their rifles. Though they rout the army, the doctor dies and Koda Dan is mortally wounded. Ash leaves him to die and goes off into the mountains, the Far Pavilions as they are called, with Anjuli.
"The Far Pavilions" is fine as romance, terrible as adventure. The adventure parts (battles, crumbling mountains and such) look cheap and are so tied to the kind of backstory politics that work well in a book but badly on screen. The romance is better, but only because Ben Cross gives all he has. Amy Irving is never believable as an Indian princess, and her robotic devotion to custom wears awfully thin, so that by the end, one just wishes she would have followed the customs and let her beloved find a new gal. Even the guest stars fail to register. Rossano Brazzi has nothing to do, John Gielgud is around only for a few minutes, Omar Sharif is, well, Omar Sharif. Christopher Lee, as ridiculous as an Indian as Amy Irving, is majestic enough for the part, but it's not much of a part.
The exotic locale and breathless story should have been a no-brainer for a miniseries in 1984, but "The Far Pavilions" presents a problem: there is no clear sense of good and evil. Just when you think everything Indian is good and everything British evil, the story shows us how cruel the native customs can be (not that the British had any right to meddle). An epic like this needs to have heroes and villains who are uncomplicated, unless it is so well written that the lack of moral clarity can be made acceptable. The writing here is way too hackneyed for that, so ultimately we're provided with merely an eye-popping spectacle, pretty to look at, but empty of heart.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
MAYBE A SLIGHT DETOUR: The Woman He Loved (1988)
Technically, "The Woman He Loved" is not a miniseries by my definition because it was a one-night movie that only ran about two hours with commercials (100 minutes, but different VHS and DVD versions have different cuts). But, because Jane Seymour is the defining actress of the genre being discussed, taking a detour to watch her prove again why she is the Queen of TV is allowed. Plus, this is a plum role: The Duchess of Windsor. Though "Edward and Mrs. Simpson" is hands-down the best televised version of this oft-filmed story, it was made specifically for the UK, so this is the closest we have to an American miniseries--okay, okay, it's a joint US-UK production--in this period about the ultimate 20th Century love affair (well, for everyone except the Duke and Duchess). All of the elements are here: great stars, has-been guest stars, a romance story, glamour and tears.
Now, let's be honest, Jane Seymour is way too ravishing a beauty to look anything like the Duchess of Windsor, who had style and flair, but not looks. To be fair to the Duchess, the movie starts in 1972, with Edward having just died and Wallis Simpson now a widow, which means Jane in heavy make-up. The opening scene is brief, but in giving us the intro to Jane as Wallis, it's much easier to quickly dart back to the past where Jane is just marrying Ernest Simpson (Tom Wilkerson).
Upon leaving the ceremony, their car is held up by the Prince of Wales driving through town, and Wallis leans far out the window to catch a glimpse of him. Ernest isn't such a bad catch for Wallis, born in Baltimore and already once divorced, as he is wealthy and doting. Social climber that she is, Wallis announces her new home is "perfect for parties," though Ernest is a more sedate type.
At one of those parties, Wallis finds out that one of her guests is the current mistress of the Prince of Wales. Wallis pretends she doesn't get the fuss over the royals, but her guests get all patriotic about them.
Wallis again sees The Prince of Wales (Anthony Andrews, so ideal in one of the UK's best miniseries, "Brideshead Revisited") at a military function but then puts her foot in her mouth sounding like a very obnoxious American talking about British manners. Before she can get into too much trouble, Wallis has to return to the US at the behest Aunt Bessie (Olivia de Havilland, in her last film role to date, and having a grand time). Wallis' mother Alice (Julie Harris, one of the only actresses capable of doing a scene against Jane Seymour and come out winning) is dying. Alice is a feisty Southern woman who finds Wallis' new husband "strange," but is also quite loving and touching when discussing how to deal with loneliness. "It educates us to think," she says of that horrible feeling. With that interesting piece of advice, it's goodbye to Julie Harris, who nabbed an Emmy nomination for her two minutes of screen time.
Back in London, Wallis and Ernest are invited to a weekend in the country with the Prince. At first, Wallis is worried about it, but that seems only on the surface as Jane's cunning performance has the undertone of a woman completely in control at all times. The party gets off to a bad start because the Prince doesn't arrive. This gives Wallis time to tell Ernest how much of a hero was to her in her youth, a favorite diary entry and even the name of her guinea pig!
Returning to 1972, Wallis is ruminating on her dead David (as he was called). "They broke his heart," she says, referring to the way the royals treated them both, particularly the Queen. She gets more loving talking about how he died in her arms, but then returns to sarcasm to ask her friend if she remembers her proper bowing, "as you will need it where we're going).
That night in the country, Wallis and Ernest wait up for the Prince to arrive with his paramour Thelma (Lucy Gutteridge). One thing we immediately find out is that Edward is a crushing bore. Oh, he can talk about hunting just fine, but it's dreary. It's Ernest who points out how good looking he is, but Wallis has clearly already noticed that, raising her eyebrows in such a way as to hint that she already has a plan. Indeed she does, making sure to turn up just when Edward is about to pass by along, playing the dewy ingenue who wants to take a walk alone in the rain, something of course she knows Edward will volunteer to share with her.
Wallis makes Edward laugh, which he admires greatly, and her act of adjusting to whatever the Prince thinks works like a charm on dimwitted Edward.
Jane works the older Wallis-in-mourning expertly, playing a slightly frail old lady (she had another 14 years in her) who is to stay at Buckingham Palace after years of being ignored.
Back in the 30s, Thelma has to return to the US to testify in the case regarding Gloria Vanderbilt's custody (Lucy Gutteridge played the sister of this current character in "Little Gloria Happy At Last") and asks Wallis to watch over Edward. Even Ernest notices how well she does her job. And what a job it is, because once again, Edward, whom Wallis now suddenly calls David, is the personification of a sleeping draught. Wallis, all wide-eyed, tells him that nothing he says is boring.
He's smitten, showing up at Wallis and Ernest's house whenever he wants, and Ernest is smart enough to know when to leave the room. Edward isn't there for him. Edward admits he is smitten, actually dropping his veneer of propriety to quietly say "I love you."
Thelma is furious and shows up at Wallis' flat, but the twist is that Thelma thinks Edward has given up on her because of her brief affair with the Ali Khan. Even less bright than Edward, Thelma invites Wallis and Ernest to come to the country with her and Edward to "help her cause." Watching Wallis in action that weekend (and Jane at her most sweetly devious), obviously has the Prince so wrapped around her soon-to-be-diamond-encrusted finger that even the light bulb above Thelma's head goes off.
At a dreary party, Wallis stares all wide-eyed at him and then thanks him for the overwhelming jewelry he's given her. "It's just the beginning," he says. Wallis races home to tell Ernest they have been invited for another weekend with him, and Wallis stares ahead and feels she's "behind the looking glass." "Wallis in Wonderland," Ernest quips. He has a meeting in New York and can't attend, but Wallis knew that and refuses to miss the weekend just because of Ernest, who knows by now he's lost. "Come on Mr. Lou. Seems you and I are in the same bed," he says to the dog as he takes him out of the bedroom.
Along for the seagoing merriment is Aunt Bessie, who wants to have a heart-to-heart with Wallis. As she starts, Edward starts with the bagpipes. "Does he take them everywhere?" she dryly asks. Aunt Bessie tries to warn Wallis about "the dangerous waters" she's gotten herself into. The poor dear is concerned about the gossip, pulling out a newspaper clipping from home where Ernest is quoted as saying, "I'm sorry I've but one wife to give for my king." Aunt Bessie tells Wallis to go on shore with a parasol, but is told she's old-fashioned. Edward agrees with Aunt Bessie, making him officially the most boring man to ever enter into an infamous love affair. Olivia de Havilland gives the camera exactly what she always did, those big concerned eyes and sweet protestations.
We're now well into the movie and Edward brings up the problem of their love and his being king. "David, what are we going to do?" Wallis asks with actual concern Timing is everything, so wouldn't you know that the Queen sends Edward a note to rush back home as the King is ill.
In the next scene, Wallis is having dinner with friends and gets a call from her beloved. "Excuse me, darlings," she says. She's officially become the social climbing snob she abhorred before she met the Prince, because it was that specific affectation she said she hated in an early scene. Our Wallis is ready, and it's a good thing too because she had to excuse herself to take the phone call that the King is dead.
King Edward decides to watch his own Proclamation Ceremony "with my beloved," despite a gaggle of other people in the room. The new king can only think about Wallis on this most important of days. In a sweet moment, they reach for each other's hands. Maybe she is in love after all.
Ernest knows when he's licked, but the problems for her other lover are just beginning. At an official soiree, the women gossip mercilessly, the Prime Minister ignores her and even Charles Lindberg is pissy (thankfully, we leave out all pro-Nazi talk among these supposed sympathizers). Edward proposes to Wallis at this party, in the most un-romantic of ways, but he just needs to figure out a way to remain king and marry her. Edward tells the PM in no uncertain terms that he will marry Wallis. The PM ain't happy. Edward's next problem is Ernest. Though he's willing to give his wife a divorce, Ernest tries to reason with him that it's impractical, but when the king says the throne comes second to Wallis, Ernest realizes how true this has become. Edward then goes to Churchill (Robert Hardy, of course, because he always played Churchill), who is the most practical of all. The divorce proceedings have to follow the law, so poor Ernest is made to be the adulterer so she can get off with reputation intact...for now. "Down with the American whore," a woman shouts at Wallis as she escapes into a car after court.
"Love is for grocers, Sir, not for kings. Should not your country come first?" the Prime Minister says nastily to his king. Edward does not care. He wants Wallis. He says it frankly, that if he cannot be married, he will abdicate. Wallis is listening at the door and goes to tell Aunt Bessie what happened. Aunt Bessie is brutally honest with Wallis. "You always have a plan," she tartly oozes when Wallis says she loves David as he is and has no desire to be Queen. Aunt Bessie doesn't buy a word of it. "Do you love David the man or David the king?" "Both," Wallis says. Edward proposes a morganatic marriage, which means he can remain king, but she won't be queen and their kids won't inherit the throne (no offense, but I think they are way beyond worrying about kids). But, in order to make this work, Parliament has to approve it, which is another issue.
You think the Prime Minister is gruff? Try the Queen Mother (Phyllis Calvert), who tells him he has to give her up, to make sacrifices, since his duty is to the people. Edward seems to think his made-up mind is proof of his strength, but why is it every scene is Edward asking someone else what to do? Mom, Aunt Bessie, the Prime Minister, Churchill, a cockney flower seller outside Covent Garden (oh, wait, that's a different story).
Parliament says no to the morganatic marriage and Edward gets even angrier, since he is expected to give up love, something no one else is ever asked to give up. Even Wallis tells him not to give up the throne. She would be happy to be his mistress in secret, but the press won't have that. Tears streaming down her pretty face, Wallis offers to leave the country, urging him not to give up the throne, but his mind is made up.
Leave it to our slumming vet to deliver the movie's best line. Wallis apologizes to Aunt Bessie for putting her through this hell, and Aunt Bessie says, "there are always blessings in these things." "Like what?" Wallis asks. Raising an eyebrow and taking a pause that shows years of experience, she gently coos, "you put Baltimore on the map." Bang! Olivia de Havilland has just stolen another movie!
Hated by a nation, Wallis is besieged by the press and is cracking under the pressure. She begs Edward not to go through with his plans, to go through with the coronation and then worry about the rest later. She threatens to leave the country, but he threatens to follow her. He's also already started the abdication process and will be leaving England that day, so it's too late.
Then Prince Edward gives his famous radio address from Windsor Castle. He informs the nation that he has abdicated in favor of his brother. The Rogue's Gallery of cast members all listen (Mom, the PM, Churchill, Aunt Bessie, Ernest, even Thelma). The speech is notable for its sincerity, but also for the fact that he never mentions Wallis' name. "The other person" is as close as he gets. Jane Seymour plays this scene magnificently. All she has to do is listen, but it's not just sadness she feels. Worry is etched on her face. He's given up the life he was groomed for, for her and now they are tied to each other forever, no matter what. If she wasn't really in love with him, she has to put on quite a show for the rest of their lifetimes or fall in love quickly. History disagrees on which course she really took.
The pair is finally married in 1937 in France. Edward instructs the priest to inscribe her prayer book to "Her Royal Highness, because that's what she'll always be to me." He's sincere. But, then comes a really creepy moment. Exiting the church, they talk about possibly walking instead of driving, but it's going to rain. "I thought you liked walking in the rain," Edward innocently reminds her. "I was lying," says a woman who has schemed to perfection. But, movies cannot end on such a potentially nasty note. Wallis calls Aunt Bessie over to the car and purrs, "it's David the man."
Back in 1972, Wallis kisses the coffin in front of the whole world and then walks out of the chapel alone, a lovely image, but one that is not historically accurate, of course.
It's interesting to note here how much the movie, based on a book written soon after Edward's death, seems to hint that Wallis was merely a social-climber who bagged the ultimate prize. This is not a romanticized version of the story, though if you take out a few lines here or there, it could be. It's actually quite cagey in how it presents its denunciation. Well, cagey and lucky, because its trump card is Jane Seymour, such a pro that she manages to play both gooey love and steely determination at the same time. We're left not really knowing the truth because her performance is grand enough to give us two points of view. See, no one does it better!
Now, let's be honest, Jane Seymour is way too ravishing a beauty to look anything like the Duchess of Windsor, who had style and flair, but not looks. To be fair to the Duchess, the movie starts in 1972, with Edward having just died and Wallis Simpson now a widow, which means Jane in heavy make-up. The opening scene is brief, but in giving us the intro to Jane as Wallis, it's much easier to quickly dart back to the past where Jane is just marrying Ernest Simpson (Tom Wilkerson).
Upon leaving the ceremony, their car is held up by the Prince of Wales driving through town, and Wallis leans far out the window to catch a glimpse of him. Ernest isn't such a bad catch for Wallis, born in Baltimore and already once divorced, as he is wealthy and doting. Social climber that she is, Wallis announces her new home is "perfect for parties," though Ernest is a more sedate type.
At one of those parties, Wallis finds out that one of her guests is the current mistress of the Prince of Wales. Wallis pretends she doesn't get the fuss over the royals, but her guests get all patriotic about them.
Wallis again sees The Prince of Wales (Anthony Andrews, so ideal in one of the UK's best miniseries, "Brideshead Revisited") at a military function but then puts her foot in her mouth sounding like a very obnoxious American talking about British manners. Before she can get into too much trouble, Wallis has to return to the US at the behest Aunt Bessie (Olivia de Havilland, in her last film role to date, and having a grand time). Wallis' mother Alice (Julie Harris, one of the only actresses capable of doing a scene against Jane Seymour and come out winning) is dying. Alice is a feisty Southern woman who finds Wallis' new husband "strange," but is also quite loving and touching when discussing how to deal with loneliness. "It educates us to think," she says of that horrible feeling. With that interesting piece of advice, it's goodbye to Julie Harris, who nabbed an Emmy nomination for her two minutes of screen time.
Back in London, Wallis and Ernest are invited to a weekend in the country with the Prince. At first, Wallis is worried about it, but that seems only on the surface as Jane's cunning performance has the undertone of a woman completely in control at all times. The party gets off to a bad start because the Prince doesn't arrive. This gives Wallis time to tell Ernest how much of a hero was to her in her youth, a favorite diary entry and even the name of her guinea pig!
Returning to 1972, Wallis is ruminating on her dead David (as he was called). "They broke his heart," she says, referring to the way the royals treated them both, particularly the Queen. She gets more loving talking about how he died in her arms, but then returns to sarcasm to ask her friend if she remembers her proper bowing, "as you will need it where we're going).
That night in the country, Wallis and Ernest wait up for the Prince to arrive with his paramour Thelma (Lucy Gutteridge). One thing we immediately find out is that Edward is a crushing bore. Oh, he can talk about hunting just fine, but it's dreary. It's Ernest who points out how good looking he is, but Wallis has clearly already noticed that, raising her eyebrows in such a way as to hint that she already has a plan. Indeed she does, making sure to turn up just when Edward is about to pass by along, playing the dewy ingenue who wants to take a walk alone in the rain, something of course she knows Edward will volunteer to share with her.
Wallis makes Edward laugh, which he admires greatly, and her act of adjusting to whatever the Prince thinks works like a charm on dimwitted Edward.
Jane works the older Wallis-in-mourning expertly, playing a slightly frail old lady (she had another 14 years in her) who is to stay at Buckingham Palace after years of being ignored.
Back in the 30s, Thelma has to return to the US to testify in the case regarding Gloria Vanderbilt's custody (Lucy Gutteridge played the sister of this current character in "Little Gloria Happy At Last") and asks Wallis to watch over Edward. Even Ernest notices how well she does her job. And what a job it is, because once again, Edward, whom Wallis now suddenly calls David, is the personification of a sleeping draught. Wallis, all wide-eyed, tells him that nothing he says is boring.
He's smitten, showing up at Wallis and Ernest's house whenever he wants, and Ernest is smart enough to know when to leave the room. Edward isn't there for him. Edward admits he is smitten, actually dropping his veneer of propriety to quietly say "I love you."
Thelma is furious and shows up at Wallis' flat, but the twist is that Thelma thinks Edward has given up on her because of her brief affair with the Ali Khan. Even less bright than Edward, Thelma invites Wallis and Ernest to come to the country with her and Edward to "help her cause." Watching Wallis in action that weekend (and Jane at her most sweetly devious), obviously has the Prince so wrapped around her soon-to-be-diamond-encrusted finger that even the light bulb above Thelma's head goes off.
At a dreary party, Wallis stares all wide-eyed at him and then thanks him for the overwhelming jewelry he's given her. "It's just the beginning," he says. Wallis races home to tell Ernest they have been invited for another weekend with him, and Wallis stares ahead and feels she's "behind the looking glass." "Wallis in Wonderland," Ernest quips. He has a meeting in New York and can't attend, but Wallis knew that and refuses to miss the weekend just because of Ernest, who knows by now he's lost. "Come on Mr. Lou. Seems you and I are in the same bed," he says to the dog as he takes him out of the bedroom.
Along for the seagoing merriment is Aunt Bessie, who wants to have a heart-to-heart with Wallis. As she starts, Edward starts with the bagpipes. "Does he take them everywhere?" she dryly asks. Aunt Bessie tries to warn Wallis about "the dangerous waters" she's gotten herself into. The poor dear is concerned about the gossip, pulling out a newspaper clipping from home where Ernest is quoted as saying, "I'm sorry I've but one wife to give for my king." Aunt Bessie tells Wallis to go on shore with a parasol, but is told she's old-fashioned. Edward agrees with Aunt Bessie, making him officially the most boring man to ever enter into an infamous love affair. Olivia de Havilland gives the camera exactly what she always did, those big concerned eyes and sweet protestations.
We're now well into the movie and Edward brings up the problem of their love and his being king. "David, what are we going to do?" Wallis asks with actual concern Timing is everything, so wouldn't you know that the Queen sends Edward a note to rush back home as the King is ill.
In the next scene, Wallis is having dinner with friends and gets a call from her beloved. "Excuse me, darlings," she says. She's officially become the social climbing snob she abhorred before she met the Prince, because it was that specific affectation she said she hated in an early scene. Our Wallis is ready, and it's a good thing too because she had to excuse herself to take the phone call that the King is dead.
King Edward decides to watch his own Proclamation Ceremony "with my beloved," despite a gaggle of other people in the room. The new king can only think about Wallis on this most important of days. In a sweet moment, they reach for each other's hands. Maybe she is in love after all.
Ernest knows when he's licked, but the problems for her other lover are just beginning. At an official soiree, the women gossip mercilessly, the Prime Minister ignores her and even Charles Lindberg is pissy (thankfully, we leave out all pro-Nazi talk among these supposed sympathizers). Edward proposes to Wallis at this party, in the most un-romantic of ways, but he just needs to figure out a way to remain king and marry her. Edward tells the PM in no uncertain terms that he will marry Wallis. The PM ain't happy. Edward's next problem is Ernest. Though he's willing to give his wife a divorce, Ernest tries to reason with him that it's impractical, but when the king says the throne comes second to Wallis, Ernest realizes how true this has become. Edward then goes to Churchill (Robert Hardy, of course, because he always played Churchill), who is the most practical of all. The divorce proceedings have to follow the law, so poor Ernest is made to be the adulterer so she can get off with reputation intact...for now. "Down with the American whore," a woman shouts at Wallis as she escapes into a car after court.
"Love is for grocers, Sir, not for kings. Should not your country come first?" the Prime Minister says nastily to his king. Edward does not care. He wants Wallis. He says it frankly, that if he cannot be married, he will abdicate. Wallis is listening at the door and goes to tell Aunt Bessie what happened. Aunt Bessie is brutally honest with Wallis. "You always have a plan," she tartly oozes when Wallis says she loves David as he is and has no desire to be Queen. Aunt Bessie doesn't buy a word of it. "Do you love David the man or David the king?" "Both," Wallis says. Edward proposes a morganatic marriage, which means he can remain king, but she won't be queen and their kids won't inherit the throne (no offense, but I think they are way beyond worrying about kids). But, in order to make this work, Parliament has to approve it, which is another issue.
You think the Prime Minister is gruff? Try the Queen Mother (Phyllis Calvert), who tells him he has to give her up, to make sacrifices, since his duty is to the people. Edward seems to think his made-up mind is proof of his strength, but why is it every scene is Edward asking someone else what to do? Mom, Aunt Bessie, the Prime Minister, Churchill, a cockney flower seller outside Covent Garden (oh, wait, that's a different story).
Parliament says no to the morganatic marriage and Edward gets even angrier, since he is expected to give up love, something no one else is ever asked to give up. Even Wallis tells him not to give up the throne. She would be happy to be his mistress in secret, but the press won't have that. Tears streaming down her pretty face, Wallis offers to leave the country, urging him not to give up the throne, but his mind is made up.
Leave it to our slumming vet to deliver the movie's best line. Wallis apologizes to Aunt Bessie for putting her through this hell, and Aunt Bessie says, "there are always blessings in these things." "Like what?" Wallis asks. Raising an eyebrow and taking a pause that shows years of experience, she gently coos, "you put Baltimore on the map." Bang! Olivia de Havilland has just stolen another movie!
Hated by a nation, Wallis is besieged by the press and is cracking under the pressure. She begs Edward not to go through with his plans, to go through with the coronation and then worry about the rest later. She threatens to leave the country, but he threatens to follow her. He's also already started the abdication process and will be leaving England that day, so it's too late.
Then Prince Edward gives his famous radio address from Windsor Castle. He informs the nation that he has abdicated in favor of his brother. The Rogue's Gallery of cast members all listen (Mom, the PM, Churchill, Aunt Bessie, Ernest, even Thelma). The speech is notable for its sincerity, but also for the fact that he never mentions Wallis' name. "The other person" is as close as he gets. Jane Seymour plays this scene magnificently. All she has to do is listen, but it's not just sadness she feels. Worry is etched on her face. He's given up the life he was groomed for, for her and now they are tied to each other forever, no matter what. If she wasn't really in love with him, she has to put on quite a show for the rest of their lifetimes or fall in love quickly. History disagrees on which course she really took.
The pair is finally married in 1937 in France. Edward instructs the priest to inscribe her prayer book to "Her Royal Highness, because that's what she'll always be to me." He's sincere. But, then comes a really creepy moment. Exiting the church, they talk about possibly walking instead of driving, but it's going to rain. "I thought you liked walking in the rain," Edward innocently reminds her. "I was lying," says a woman who has schemed to perfection. But, movies cannot end on such a potentially nasty note. Wallis calls Aunt Bessie over to the car and purrs, "it's David the man."
Back in 1972, Wallis kisses the coffin in front of the whole world and then walks out of the chapel alone, a lovely image, but one that is not historically accurate, of course.
It's interesting to note here how much the movie, based on a book written soon after Edward's death, seems to hint that Wallis was merely a social-climber who bagged the ultimate prize. This is not a romanticized version of the story, though if you take out a few lines here or there, it could be. It's actually quite cagey in how it presents its denunciation. Well, cagey and lucky, because its trump card is Jane Seymour, such a pro that she manages to play both gooey love and steely determination at the same time. We're left not really knowing the truth because her performance is grand enough to give us two points of view. See, no one does it better!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Poor Little Rich Girl: The Barbara Hutton Story (1987)
I think most would say that Farrah Fawcett gave two very good performances: The Burning Bed and Small Sacrifices. I'll give her one of those, but I actually think her best performance is here in "Poor Little Rich Girl: The Barbara Hutton Story," a sudser that is a gift to any actress because Barbara Hutton's life had everything dramatic imaginable. There's so much to play here! In the three miniseries about some of the 20th Century's wealthiest women, this one is right in the middle. "Little Gloria, Happy At Last," is sublime, even if it's only about Gloria Vanderbilt as a young child. "Too Rich" with Lauren Bacall as Doris Duke is a lot tougher to get through than the others. This one is right in the middle with Farrah ideally cast as tragic oft-married Barbara Hutton.
Let's go back to 1917, where F.W. Woolworth (Burl Ives) is opening his 150th store. He's giving a speech at the opening, giving Burl Ives a cheesy speech into which to sink his considerably over-ripe chops and then gives an even harsher one to his daughter, who has married Franklyn Hutton (brother of E.F.), all of this witnessed by five-year-old Barbara, his granddaughter. Old F.W.'s speech about the lout Franklyn reminds his daughter all super rich people need to start life out on a tragic foot (or at least the rich who make it to TV, and let's face it, Barbara's life was TV-ready the whole time it was happening), so she kills herself so Barbara can have that drama. Yup, less than five minutes after the credits, Mom is dead. But not pretty on the bed with her hands clasped, slumped in a couch in a fluffy nightgown.
Franklyn Hutton (Kevin McCarthy) isn't much of a father either, giving Barbara the old "Mommy is in heaven" speech and then heaping presents on her instead of his love. Absentee parentism, another theme of these pieces. Franklyn, seemingly on one glass of wine, gets raging drunk and goes into dinner with the Woolworth family, where old F.W. is anything but pleased and the rest of the family pecks at hime. His speech about anyone being able to parent a child is heard by Barbara, setting up a complex that will haunt Barbara for the rest of her life (both a good Psychiatrist and anyone who watches these types of movies will tell you that).
Barbara is packed off to live with her grandparents, though Mrs. Woolworth doesn't have any lines and F.W. dies after a frightening scene explaining the scary organ he plays in the middle of the night to Barbara. Franklyn still can't be bothered to play father, but laughs to remind everyone that F.W. died before making a will leaving everything to charity, so once Granny dies, Barbara gets a massive fortune. The governess notes that Franklyn left without saying goodbye to Barbara (now Fairuza Balk, who is supposed to be 12 even though it's only two years later in the story--Barbara was born in 1912). Barbara has no friends, so the servants wrangle some up, but they are rather bitchy, setting up a second theme, that of Barbara giving away anything she has to people who pay her attention so they will like her. The girls traipse out with everything but a chotchke from her mother (Barbara won't part with it, so the nastiest little girl in TV history whines, "then what can I take?").
Granny Woolworth kicks and Barbara gets a house and a stepmother at the same time, only dad and stepmom live next door, leaving Barbara all alone in her house with only servants. The poor thing sits at her window at New Year's watching a hearty party next door. Cousin Jimmy Donahue, playing the gay best friend role (yes, even as a child), pops by to note how "different" they are from everyone else. They promise always to stay together.
And finally Farrah takes over as Barbara, with eternal sidekick Bruce Davison as Jimmy. She's at her own coming out party where Franklyn name drops, but Barbara is unimpressed. She still has no friends except Jimmy, as everyone is forced to be there. Aunt Marjorie Merriweather Post (Anne Francis) is kind to her, but all of the girls, now grown up, are as spiteful as possible. But, they introduce her to Prince Mdvani (Nicholas Clay), an impossibly handsome fellow. "If a guy's going to marry awful rich, he better be very in love," a drunk guy notes, which Barbara overhears, hammering in our theme again. "I feel like I've been entered at the Westminster Kennel show," Barbara glowers, while men drool after her money.
Barbara is packed off to London to meet the royal family to get her away from her lover, whom drunk Franklyn thinks is a drunk who wants to marry for money (no irony there, eh?). She meets all the royals, but things finally get going when Barbara is invited to France by Elsa Maxwell (played as a bull dyke by Miriam Margoyles). It's there she again meets Prince Mdvani. He says all the right things to her, that "people will always be fascinated by you," but lays on the charm as only an impoverished Prince from Georgia (not the state) can. Most importantly, he pretends to be into Barbara for Barbara herself. Barbara also meets Pauline de la Rochelle (Stephane Audan), who is sympathetic to her plight. Moments later, Barbara hears the latest song rage, "I Found a Million Dollar Baby (In a Five and Ten Cent Store)" and is horrified. "Doris Duke has more money than me," she bleats, begging people not to talk about her money. Pot and kettle?
Prince Mdvani, still making it all about Barbara, gets his woman into bed in an overly under-lit scene where he starts at her toes and works works up, only to be interrupted by a gaggle of "friends," one of whom purposely brought everyone to the cabana to show them together.
It's now 1931 and Franklyn arrives in London (Barbara stays at The Dorchester, where Liz and Dick would stay years later) to talk Barbara out of playing around with Prince Mdvani, who is, oh, I didn't mention this, married. Franklyn offers $500K to Prince Mdvani to go away, and the Prince and his sister insist it's all about love. The sister would be happy to take $1 million, $500K apiece, and the Prince informs Franklyn he's getting a divorce. The sister gets the wife to divorce Prince Mdvani so they can get to Barbara, but Barbara and her loyal friend Jean (Zoe Wanamaker) are onto the scheme, but Barbara wants Prince Mdvani to work for it and makes him chase her around the world. He finds her in Bali, where they FINALLY get to finish that sex scene started earlier. They force Franklyn to announce their engagement and Prince Mdvani fires off a cable to his sister. "I've won the prize."
The Prince and Franklyn make a business deal before the marriage, making sure we understand he's doing this for the money. Barbara is upset, still thinking the Prince loves her as she loves him, but dad tells her the blunt truth. Farrah gets her first hot-tempered scene and she handles it well. She goes through with the marriage anyway. On their wedding night, Barbara coos about how much she loves his body and he tells her she's too fat. She still buys him a boat, a small one, dependable Pauline clucking her disapproval. "He's a baby really, a big baby," Barbara says, as if that's a good trait in a new husband.
As her bastard wastrel husband spends her money and squires around other women, we get a bizarre montage of Barbara's weight loss regime, which is essentially Farrah in a series of increasingly less padded outfits. With Barbara about to take control of her own fortune the way she has her figure, suddenly the Prince wants her again. After a jewel buying spree, Barbara loses her temper on the Prince, but he manipulates the conversation to his advantage, as usual. Barbara tosses the Prince's clothing into the Venice canals, yelling, "you forgot your marriage!"
Barbara comes into her own money and spends it so fully that we have to suffer through a ridiculous scene where Barbara and the Prince are attached at the theater by the Depression-era poor.
Barbara meets Count Reventlow (making sure to knock down the Prince's empty title), a Danish prince who enchants Barbara, and Jimmy too. Prince Mdvani is less excited. The Count helps Barbara forget the increasingly horrid behavior of the Prince, who is clearly on his way out. Since the movie is about Barbara, we have to make sure all non-Barbara characters who fell out of her favor are painted in the worst light, so Prince Mdvani gets a scene of such bad behavior that they actually have him fallen on the floor laughing like a true movie villain.
Franklyn goes to her side and is not helpful in telling her to curb her cursing. "Watch your language! What's your language! Why can't you just hold me?" Barbara howls. It's hard not to laugh at dialogue like that. That scene has to be topped by one with the Prince. "You never really loved me, did you?" she asks Mdvani, who doesn't deny he and his sister wanted the money.
Ta-ta Prince Mdvani, hello Count Reventlow, who seems far more down-to-earth than the Prince. "We live in castle, but it's not a fairy-tale castle, just a big family home," he says. Is that supposed to sound unpretentious or are we supposed to take that seriously? The Count promises to protect Barbara, who needs that attention, as we've known since Mom left her (I will not allow anyone to forget out themes--if the movie isn't subtle, I don't have to be!).
Hold on for the hoot scene where Reventlow tells her he is excited by being in control of her and then screws her in a horse stable. And then on a train. Barbara doesn't seem to see the warning signs here.
In the middle of her time with Reventlow, Prince Mdvani is killed. Just thought you would want to know what happened to her first ex. The movie cares enough to tell us.
Barbara gets pregnant by Reventlow, to the dismay of Jean and Jimmy, who seem to know she's not exactly a candidate for motherhood. Barbara tells Reventlow to "come here" in a sweet moment, but he tells her once again she can never give orders (orders?) and then has his way with her again. Barbara, still anorexic from her time with the Prince, neglects to eat, much to the Count's dismay and goes into premature labor.
Reventlow won't let Jimmy or "his friends" hold little Lance, because, well, you know. "I may be a queen, but I earned my title," Jimmy snaps, delivering the movie's best line and waking it momentarily from the stupor of dull husbands into which it's fallen.
It's the 1930s, so any rich dame with a kid gets kidnapping threats and Barbara buys a house outside of London, which Reventlow fixes up for about $5 million. Barbara carps at the money, but he gives her the "I'm in charge" speech again.
We meet Baron Von Cramm (Sascha Hehn), a famous tennis player and Barbara is smitten (I hate to ruin any surprises, but don't get too attached to him yet because there are three husbands after Reventlow before she marries him). Reventlow is jealous, but there are bigger problems. There is a strike against Woolworth's and Reventlow tosses away a cable asking for help. Barbara is very concerned about the poor workers (as if) and she is even more upset that he's still controlling her. He gets physically abusive. Yet Barbara doesn't want to divorce him because she wants her son to grow up with two parents living with him, unike the zero she had. Reventlow, supposedly to save her money, wants her to renounce her US citizenship. But, Franklyn's lawyer pipes in that all of the money will technically become Reventlow's, so another hubby contract has to be signed. He agrees, so Barbara renounces her citizenship, barely holding back tears and wearing make-up to make her look as haggard and upset as possible, though the fur and jewels must be helping her feel better. All of this pisses off the strikers at Woolworth's even more. One of the four (we're not spending money on extras when we have jewels and husbands to pay for) throws a trash can through a Woolworth's window.
Pauline convinces Barbara to buy some fabulously expensive jewels to help her feel better. Just then, dead Prince Mdvani's sister shows up, poor and sickly. Cue an explosion from Reventlow, who see the sister holding Lance and forbids it ever again because she's a morphine addict. He wants all "undesirables" out of her life. Sound Nazi-like? It should, because the Nazis are on the move and Von Cramm is not a Nazi sympathizer.
Even worse, Reventlow takes her to a sex club, where she is horrified and when they get home, he rapes her because she behaved so poorly. To add insult to literal injury, Reventlow takes Lance as he dashes from their house.
The divorce proceedings in 1937 are a circus in the British courts. Reventlow accuses Barbara of having affairs, but can't prove it and Barbara gets to provide evidence of his cruelty. The trial is having an effect on Lance, who has to sleep in an oxygen tent. Oh, and World War II is on its way and Barbara's friends urge her to leave, to ask for Joe Kennedy for help, but Barbara has less than fond memories of that womanizer. Unfortunately, Barbara is no longer an American citizen, so going back to the US will not be easy. Want another level of misery? Von Cramm is arrested in Germany on a charge of homosexuality. Want another level? Loyal Pauline gives Barbara some pills to help calm her nerves. You know that that leads to in a TV miniseries...addiction! Oh, yes, always.
As World War II advances, Barbara and Lance go to Los Angeles and the notorious Countess Difrasso, who raises money for the war effort. Barbara matches all money raised, but the tit-for-tat is that the Countess can help get Von Cramm out of Germany.
Since it's LA, it's time to meet husband #3, and the most famous of them all, Cary Grant (James Read, looking fantastic and doing a dead-on impersonation), the only one who didn't marry her for her money. The hook here for Barbara is that Cary is every bit as famous as her, so they are sympatico. On top of that, Cary seems to adore Lance from the beginning (taking him in his arms so he can dance with Cary and Barbara). However, this means for the oft-bedraggled viewer that Barbara as a character is given some depth and introspection. Depth isn't a strong suit of this type of fluff. It gives Farrah a chance to stretch a little, but making Cary Grant the indoor anti-fame whore type isn't as interesting as scandalous Mdvani or beastly Reventlow.
Barbara is fighting for Von Cramm's release (spied on by the Americans since the money to do it is going through Axis channels) and there is yet MORE bad news: Franklyn is dying. When Franklyn says he loves her, Barbara whines, "don't say that now. I needed to hear it then!" This launches her into a tantrum about the way he's treated her as Kevin McCarthy gets to play one hell of a deathbed scene, with tears, recriminations and confessions, just the stuff of Emmy nominations...I mean, good television. Note that as she holds his hand for the last time, Barbara is wearing a diamond that would make Elizabeth Taylor jealous. She immediately tells her son she loves him, so as not to be the same parent her father was.
Though Cary is so sympathetic when Barbara finds out she can't have children, he adores Lance and he ignores her increasing pill addiction, out of nowhere, they have a fight. He hates being "Cary Grant" to her friends and she thinks he spends too much time without her. "I hate Cary Grant!" she bellows as he storms out. "I love Cary Grant," she whispers to herself when he leaves. But folks, that ain't the end of it. The studio wanted to put Barbara in a Cary Grant movie and he refused. "I'll buy the studio and fire you," she shouts, but it ends up in laughter (I was already laughing, because Barbara was discussing throwing her maid a party where all the guests come as maids and all the maids as her friends and her maid can wear her jewels).
Barbara is given that moment of levity with Cary, but life is not rosy. Lance goes to visit his father and Mrs. His Father finds his name stitched in his clothing as "Lance Grant" and coded letters to Barbara. Just when you thought screeching Reventlow was out of the picture, he returns to create more drama. Reventlow is so angry, he wants to take Lance somewhere Barbara can never see him. And, if you are the type who cares about history, World War II ends.
So does marriage to Cary, as they both realize it hasn't been working. Barbara gets Lance away from Reventlow and parks him in boarding school in Tucson, but on the way, they stop at a drive-thru where waitress on roller skates seeing Barbara crash into each other. This is the reason why Lance can't stay with Barbara, who needs to keep on the move. "Look what just happened. All I have to do is walk down the street and someone ends up in the hospital," she explains to Lance. With a straight face. As if ego like that is healthy. Do we know a rich TV or movie character with a child who doesn't get tossed into boarding school, putting her life ahead of the kid's? Of course not!'' Have we fogotten about poor Ann Grenville's kid? He jumped out the window due to absentee partenting.
Babsy licks her wounds in Europe, going to fancy parties wearing tiaras, helping prop Jimmy up (he was booted from the army with a dishonorable discharge) and giving jewelry to Pauline. Best of all, she is reunited with Von Cramm. He seems to be the love of her life, but he has to go back to Germany the next day, so he's put on ice again after they spend a night together.
One place we haven't been is Tangier, so why not go? Barbara can spend a fortune there and remain fairly anonymous. She buys a house, outbidding Franco for it, and her possessions make their way via donkey and men with hats around a set with extras that looks like Mexico more than North Africa. Tangier also gives Bruce Davison a chance to get plastered and ride a camel. Barbara literally dresses like royalty and even gets Lance in on the act when he visits. It is excessive, but she seems happy.
But we can't have happiness for our Barbara, can we? Cue Prince Igor Trubestkoy (Leigh Lawson), another impossible stunning man who asks her what it's like to have everything as a second sentence introducing himself. Rather than run from him, Barbara is drawn. Well, he does have a title, he's good looking and he pays her dutiful attention. We're back to our theme! "I don't want to be dominated and I'm terrified of being alone," Barbara says when he proposes perhaps maybe they should think of kind of falling in love. That line sums up the whole movie, but there's still over an hour to go.
We should worry that when Barbara and Igor, in bed during the above scene, finish it, Barbara goes down on Igor and he wears a look of supreme surprise.
Lance is pissed at Barbara because she won't break the agreement with Reventlow and keep him permanently. "Every time we part, something leaves me," Barbara sighs as angry Lance goes back to his father and Igor doesn't even try to comfort her. He then becomes husband #4, but things immediately turn sour when he objects to her drugs, her anorexia, her smoking (she's a richer Judy Garland, I guess). In Igor's defense, Barbara has turned into a raving bitch. He's trying to help and she snaps at him that he's only unhappy because she's not taking care of him ("I always take care of my husbands," she says with a nasty tone and dismisses him). She even admits to Lance that she doesn't love Igor, but Lance is soooooo over his mother and her nonsense. He tells her to stop calling!
Seven years pass and we find Barbara and Jimmy frail and addicted to an assortment of pills and drink that are all over the place. Igor has been discarded and they chat of soon-to-be husband #5, and my personal favorite, Porfirio Rubirosa (he of pepper mill fame). Lance is now an adult with a girlfriend to whom he wants to introduce Mummy. Barbara is so bad off from the drugs, the booze and the lack of eating that she can't even apply her make-up and stumbles around her house in a haze. It's a sure bet the meeting with Lance's girl will not go well. In fact, Lance and the girl bolt as soon as they walk in because Barbara is too drunk to even stand up.
Then comes her suicide attempt, though it's treated as only a blip. Winchell then tells us the entire history of her marriage to Rubirosa in six seconds. It only lasted that many weeks, or $66,000 a day considering what she spent on him. Lance turns 21 and there is a huge black tie affair, where even Cary Grant and Uncle Jimmy show up, but not Barbara. "Do you think your next father is here today?" Jimmy snarls after Lance introduces him to his fiance Jill St. John (Debbie Barker).
Lance has another surprise: he's now a race car driver. Friends, I don't want to alarm you, but no one in a miniseries becomes a race car driver without, well, you know (although this "you know" will have a twist). Lance has a terrible accident during one race where there is a wildly bad moment of continuity. Every time they show the crowd, it's very obviously stock footage of racing fans from the 80s, rather than the 50s. Barbara is so freaked out that she tries offering Jill money to get Lance to stop, but Jill refuses, saying, "if I can't him to stop for love, I certainly won't do it for money." We have to be nice to the character of Jill as she alone among the major characters was still alive when this movie aired (Prince Igor was still alive, but somehow I doubt he had any sway).
Barbara finally marries Baron Von Cramm, husband #6, the man she's always wanted, but there's a hitch. She sees it firsthand when she bursts into the bedroom one day and finds him with another man. Yeah, that hitch. I hate to side with the Nazis, but they did label him a homosexual and they were right. If it's any consolation, he has excellent taste, because the boy in the bed is hot! Barbara claims to have known all along, but didn't want to know about it. Barbara does depression in an interesting way, buying gifts for her friends, a house for the nanny, a villa for Pauline, pearls for Jean, who turns them down because she is a TRUE friend and wants nothing. With Jean in the room, Barbara hits on Jean's husband, and when they try to talk sense into her, she kicks them to the curb. This is the saddest break-up in the whole movie because Barbara only does it to spare them the agony of watching her downward spiral and they genuinely love her.
In Venice, Countess Barbara, haggard and ridiculous, gives a bracelet to a hanger-on who admires it, but a good-looking stranger, James Douglas (Tony Peck) intervenes, gets her back the bracelet and then goes to bed with her. Pillow talk reveals that he has a trust fund too. James is different, because he not only returns all her gifts, but he also tells her the truth about her drinking, drugging and spending. This monologue he delivers in a multi-colored satin dressing gown, so it's hard to take him seriously. She begs James to stay with her, but he says he'll do it only without her friends, even Pauline. Pauline had lavishly spent Barbara's money, so she should have been tossed years ago, but now we're finally rid of her.
The new couple goes off to Mexico, where she has a Japanese-style mansion, and she summons Lance, who is a pissy little brat. He takes an immediately dislike to young James. He also lays it all on the line for his mother, calling her a "drunken slut." "Face it, you never wanted a child," he says, before reminding her that her father didn't want her and now her son doesn't either. "You son of a bitch," James pipes in. "That's right, I'm a real son of a bitch. Good luck, maybe she'll raise you better than me," Lance carps as he storms out. She decides to to back to Tangier, where she can revel in her riches and ignore the rest of the world.
On the plane over, Farrah gets another showy scene where she's so drunk and hopped up that she has a nervous breakdown in the lavatory, calling out for her nanny and thinking James is Reventlow. She even tries to open the hatch. Things are not going well for our heroine (but great for Farrah).
At a party in Tangier, Barbara doesn't make an appearance and the guests won't leave. "Then pay them to go!" she roars at James, who is still trying to save her. Barbara pushes him away too, as she does all positive influences (Pauline is back with the rest of the leeches). James has no choice but to leave. It was nice knowing him, but watching Barbara crash is more fun, so stick-in-the-mud sober James wasn't going to be around long.
Meet Raymond Doan (Neville Jason) whose brother decides "they" will marry Barbara for her money and plot like greedy children. Their conversation is overheard by a friend, so Pauline and Barbara's boyfriend tell her to watch out, but she takes Raymond's side, getting rid of both of them. Pauline gets a teary "I've been a loyal friend" scene, but frankly, she won't be missed. Barbara quickly marries Raymond, much to the dismay of Cousin Jimmy and Graham, her longtime lawyer (David Ackroyd).
Jimmy has a teary goodbye scene with Barbara, which, by the television playbook should mean he will die in the next scene, but it's Lance who bites it in a plane crash as Barbara is having a nightmare about him. She senses the moment of death. Okay, that's a bit much, even for TV dramatics.
It's 1977 now and Graham has had to sell off Barbara's assets because she has no money. Barbara is basically bedridden, her skin see-through, looking far older than her 60some years. She battles Graham, accusing him of stealing her homes, her jewels and her money. She has nothing left, so Graham rips the pearl necklace off her neck to raise some cash. She tells him she thinks he's "the biggest con artist" she's ever met and dispenses with him too.
The finale has Barbara aged beyond recognition, even down to her wrinkled hands, unable to get out of bed and looking 150 years old. She puts on the finery she has left and accepts a visit from Cary Grant, the only man who didn't use her for her money. Farrah gets her last chance to go for the gold with her deathbed speech, looking horrendously ugly and regretting her life. The narrator tells us Barbara died in 1979, worth less than $3500.
Geez, by the time Barbara divorces Cary Grant, not one good thing happens to her and I'm not sure if "Poor Little Rich Girl" is really a glossy miniseries anymore or a high-budget morality tale. I still go with the former, because if the lesson is don't be like Barbara Hutton, none of us have to worry. There are too few people in the world who could afford that lifestyle, and they probably don't watch miniseries anyway.
Seven husbands, umpteen lovers, bad friends, a dead son, a dead mother, a bad father, a scary grandfather and a gazillion dollars. "Poor Little Rich Girl" came along at exactly the right time, at the height of the 80s flashiness. It made perfect sense at the time and still packs a kick, if only to gape at the reality of Barbara's life, as delivered to us through ideally-cast Farrah Fawcett, who would die her own untimely death after much drama (though not as much as the Hutton dame).
Let's go back to 1917, where F.W. Woolworth (Burl Ives) is opening his 150th store. He's giving a speech at the opening, giving Burl Ives a cheesy speech into which to sink his considerably over-ripe chops and then gives an even harsher one to his daughter, who has married Franklyn Hutton (brother of E.F.), all of this witnessed by five-year-old Barbara, his granddaughter. Old F.W.'s speech about the lout Franklyn reminds his daughter all super rich people need to start life out on a tragic foot (or at least the rich who make it to TV, and let's face it, Barbara's life was TV-ready the whole time it was happening), so she kills herself so Barbara can have that drama. Yup, less than five minutes after the credits, Mom is dead. But not pretty on the bed with her hands clasped, slumped in a couch in a fluffy nightgown.
Franklyn Hutton (Kevin McCarthy) isn't much of a father either, giving Barbara the old "Mommy is in heaven" speech and then heaping presents on her instead of his love. Absentee parentism, another theme of these pieces. Franklyn, seemingly on one glass of wine, gets raging drunk and goes into dinner with the Woolworth family, where old F.W. is anything but pleased and the rest of the family pecks at hime. His speech about anyone being able to parent a child is heard by Barbara, setting up a complex that will haunt Barbara for the rest of her life (both a good Psychiatrist and anyone who watches these types of movies will tell you that).
Barbara is packed off to live with her grandparents, though Mrs. Woolworth doesn't have any lines and F.W. dies after a frightening scene explaining the scary organ he plays in the middle of the night to Barbara. Franklyn still can't be bothered to play father, but laughs to remind everyone that F.W. died before making a will leaving everything to charity, so once Granny dies, Barbara gets a massive fortune. The governess notes that Franklyn left without saying goodbye to Barbara (now Fairuza Balk, who is supposed to be 12 even though it's only two years later in the story--Barbara was born in 1912). Barbara has no friends, so the servants wrangle some up, but they are rather bitchy, setting up a second theme, that of Barbara giving away anything she has to people who pay her attention so they will like her. The girls traipse out with everything but a chotchke from her mother (Barbara won't part with it, so the nastiest little girl in TV history whines, "then what can I take?").
Granny Woolworth kicks and Barbara gets a house and a stepmother at the same time, only dad and stepmom live next door, leaving Barbara all alone in her house with only servants. The poor thing sits at her window at New Year's watching a hearty party next door. Cousin Jimmy Donahue, playing the gay best friend role (yes, even as a child), pops by to note how "different" they are from everyone else. They promise always to stay together.
And finally Farrah takes over as Barbara, with eternal sidekick Bruce Davison as Jimmy. She's at her own coming out party where Franklyn name drops, but Barbara is unimpressed. She still has no friends except Jimmy, as everyone is forced to be there. Aunt Marjorie Merriweather Post (Anne Francis) is kind to her, but all of the girls, now grown up, are as spiteful as possible. But, they introduce her to Prince Mdvani (Nicholas Clay), an impossibly handsome fellow. "If a guy's going to marry awful rich, he better be very in love," a drunk guy notes, which Barbara overhears, hammering in our theme again. "I feel like I've been entered at the Westminster Kennel show," Barbara glowers, while men drool after her money.
Barbara is packed off to London to meet the royal family to get her away from her lover, whom drunk Franklyn thinks is a drunk who wants to marry for money (no irony there, eh?). She meets all the royals, but things finally get going when Barbara is invited to France by Elsa Maxwell (played as a bull dyke by Miriam Margoyles). It's there she again meets Prince Mdvani. He says all the right things to her, that "people will always be fascinated by you," but lays on the charm as only an impoverished Prince from Georgia (not the state) can. Most importantly, he pretends to be into Barbara for Barbara herself. Barbara also meets Pauline de la Rochelle (Stephane Audan), who is sympathetic to her plight. Moments later, Barbara hears the latest song rage, "I Found a Million Dollar Baby (In a Five and Ten Cent Store)" and is horrified. "Doris Duke has more money than me," she bleats, begging people not to talk about her money. Pot and kettle?
Prince Mdvani, still making it all about Barbara, gets his woman into bed in an overly under-lit scene where he starts at her toes and works works up, only to be interrupted by a gaggle of "friends," one of whom purposely brought everyone to the cabana to show them together.
It's now 1931 and Franklyn arrives in London (Barbara stays at The Dorchester, where Liz and Dick would stay years later) to talk Barbara out of playing around with Prince Mdvani, who is, oh, I didn't mention this, married. Franklyn offers $500K to Prince Mdvani to go away, and the Prince and his sister insist it's all about love. The sister would be happy to take $1 million, $500K apiece, and the Prince informs Franklyn he's getting a divorce. The sister gets the wife to divorce Prince Mdvani so they can get to Barbara, but Barbara and her loyal friend Jean (Zoe Wanamaker) are onto the scheme, but Barbara wants Prince Mdvani to work for it and makes him chase her around the world. He finds her in Bali, where they FINALLY get to finish that sex scene started earlier. They force Franklyn to announce their engagement and Prince Mdvani fires off a cable to his sister. "I've won the prize."
The Prince and Franklyn make a business deal before the marriage, making sure we understand he's doing this for the money. Barbara is upset, still thinking the Prince loves her as she loves him, but dad tells her the blunt truth. Farrah gets her first hot-tempered scene and she handles it well. She goes through with the marriage anyway. On their wedding night, Barbara coos about how much she loves his body and he tells her she's too fat. She still buys him a boat, a small one, dependable Pauline clucking her disapproval. "He's a baby really, a big baby," Barbara says, as if that's a good trait in a new husband.
As her bastard wastrel husband spends her money and squires around other women, we get a bizarre montage of Barbara's weight loss regime, which is essentially Farrah in a series of increasingly less padded outfits. With Barbara about to take control of her own fortune the way she has her figure, suddenly the Prince wants her again. After a jewel buying spree, Barbara loses her temper on the Prince, but he manipulates the conversation to his advantage, as usual. Barbara tosses the Prince's clothing into the Venice canals, yelling, "you forgot your marriage!"
Barbara comes into her own money and spends it so fully that we have to suffer through a ridiculous scene where Barbara and the Prince are attached at the theater by the Depression-era poor.
Barbara meets Count Reventlow (making sure to knock down the Prince's empty title), a Danish prince who enchants Barbara, and Jimmy too. Prince Mdvani is less excited. The Count helps Barbara forget the increasingly horrid behavior of the Prince, who is clearly on his way out. Since the movie is about Barbara, we have to make sure all non-Barbara characters who fell out of her favor are painted in the worst light, so Prince Mdvani gets a scene of such bad behavior that they actually have him fallen on the floor laughing like a true movie villain.
Franklyn goes to her side and is not helpful in telling her to curb her cursing. "Watch your language! What's your language! Why can't you just hold me?" Barbara howls. It's hard not to laugh at dialogue like that. That scene has to be topped by one with the Prince. "You never really loved me, did you?" she asks Mdvani, who doesn't deny he and his sister wanted the money.
Ta-ta Prince Mdvani, hello Count Reventlow, who seems far more down-to-earth than the Prince. "We live in castle, but it's not a fairy-tale castle, just a big family home," he says. Is that supposed to sound unpretentious or are we supposed to take that seriously? The Count promises to protect Barbara, who needs that attention, as we've known since Mom left her (I will not allow anyone to forget out themes--if the movie isn't subtle, I don't have to be!).
Hold on for the hoot scene where Reventlow tells her he is excited by being in control of her and then screws her in a horse stable. And then on a train. Barbara doesn't seem to see the warning signs here.
In the middle of her time with Reventlow, Prince Mdvani is killed. Just thought you would want to know what happened to her first ex. The movie cares enough to tell us.
Barbara gets pregnant by Reventlow, to the dismay of Jean and Jimmy, who seem to know she's not exactly a candidate for motherhood. Barbara tells Reventlow to "come here" in a sweet moment, but he tells her once again she can never give orders (orders?) and then has his way with her again. Barbara, still anorexic from her time with the Prince, neglects to eat, much to the Count's dismay and goes into premature labor.
Reventlow won't let Jimmy or "his friends" hold little Lance, because, well, you know. "I may be a queen, but I earned my title," Jimmy snaps, delivering the movie's best line and waking it momentarily from the stupor of dull husbands into which it's fallen.
It's the 1930s, so any rich dame with a kid gets kidnapping threats and Barbara buys a house outside of London, which Reventlow fixes up for about $5 million. Barbara carps at the money, but he gives her the "I'm in charge" speech again.
We meet Baron Von Cramm (Sascha Hehn), a famous tennis player and Barbara is smitten (I hate to ruin any surprises, but don't get too attached to him yet because there are three husbands after Reventlow before she marries him). Reventlow is jealous, but there are bigger problems. There is a strike against Woolworth's and Reventlow tosses away a cable asking for help. Barbara is very concerned about the poor workers (as if) and she is even more upset that he's still controlling her. He gets physically abusive. Yet Barbara doesn't want to divorce him because she wants her son to grow up with two parents living with him, unike the zero she had. Reventlow, supposedly to save her money, wants her to renounce her US citizenship. But, Franklyn's lawyer pipes in that all of the money will technically become Reventlow's, so another hubby contract has to be signed. He agrees, so Barbara renounces her citizenship, barely holding back tears and wearing make-up to make her look as haggard and upset as possible, though the fur and jewels must be helping her feel better. All of this pisses off the strikers at Woolworth's even more. One of the four (we're not spending money on extras when we have jewels and husbands to pay for) throws a trash can through a Woolworth's window.
Pauline convinces Barbara to buy some fabulously expensive jewels to help her feel better. Just then, dead Prince Mdvani's sister shows up, poor and sickly. Cue an explosion from Reventlow, who see the sister holding Lance and forbids it ever again because she's a morphine addict. He wants all "undesirables" out of her life. Sound Nazi-like? It should, because the Nazis are on the move and Von Cramm is not a Nazi sympathizer.
Even worse, Reventlow takes her to a sex club, where she is horrified and when they get home, he rapes her because she behaved so poorly. To add insult to literal injury, Reventlow takes Lance as he dashes from their house.
The divorce proceedings in 1937 are a circus in the British courts. Reventlow accuses Barbara of having affairs, but can't prove it and Barbara gets to provide evidence of his cruelty. The trial is having an effect on Lance, who has to sleep in an oxygen tent. Oh, and World War II is on its way and Barbara's friends urge her to leave, to ask for Joe Kennedy for help, but Barbara has less than fond memories of that womanizer. Unfortunately, Barbara is no longer an American citizen, so going back to the US will not be easy. Want another level of misery? Von Cramm is arrested in Germany on a charge of homosexuality. Want another level? Loyal Pauline gives Barbara some pills to help calm her nerves. You know that that leads to in a TV miniseries...addiction! Oh, yes, always.
As World War II advances, Barbara and Lance go to Los Angeles and the notorious Countess Difrasso, who raises money for the war effort. Barbara matches all money raised, but the tit-for-tat is that the Countess can help get Von Cramm out of Germany.
Since it's LA, it's time to meet husband #3, and the most famous of them all, Cary Grant (James Read, looking fantastic and doing a dead-on impersonation), the only one who didn't marry her for her money. The hook here for Barbara is that Cary is every bit as famous as her, so they are sympatico. On top of that, Cary seems to adore Lance from the beginning (taking him in his arms so he can dance with Cary and Barbara). However, this means for the oft-bedraggled viewer that Barbara as a character is given some depth and introspection. Depth isn't a strong suit of this type of fluff. It gives Farrah a chance to stretch a little, but making Cary Grant the indoor anti-fame whore type isn't as interesting as scandalous Mdvani or beastly Reventlow.
Barbara is fighting for Von Cramm's release (spied on by the Americans since the money to do it is going through Axis channels) and there is yet MORE bad news: Franklyn is dying. When Franklyn says he loves her, Barbara whines, "don't say that now. I needed to hear it then!" This launches her into a tantrum about the way he's treated her as Kevin McCarthy gets to play one hell of a deathbed scene, with tears, recriminations and confessions, just the stuff of Emmy nominations...I mean, good television. Note that as she holds his hand for the last time, Barbara is wearing a diamond that would make Elizabeth Taylor jealous. She immediately tells her son she loves him, so as not to be the same parent her father was.
Though Cary is so sympathetic when Barbara finds out she can't have children, he adores Lance and he ignores her increasing pill addiction, out of nowhere, they have a fight. He hates being "Cary Grant" to her friends and she thinks he spends too much time without her. "I hate Cary Grant!" she bellows as he storms out. "I love Cary Grant," she whispers to herself when he leaves. But folks, that ain't the end of it. The studio wanted to put Barbara in a Cary Grant movie and he refused. "I'll buy the studio and fire you," she shouts, but it ends up in laughter (I was already laughing, because Barbara was discussing throwing her maid a party where all the guests come as maids and all the maids as her friends and her maid can wear her jewels).
Barbara is given that moment of levity with Cary, but life is not rosy. Lance goes to visit his father and Mrs. His Father finds his name stitched in his clothing as "Lance Grant" and coded letters to Barbara. Just when you thought screeching Reventlow was out of the picture, he returns to create more drama. Reventlow is so angry, he wants to take Lance somewhere Barbara can never see him. And, if you are the type who cares about history, World War II ends.
So does marriage to Cary, as they both realize it hasn't been working. Barbara gets Lance away from Reventlow and parks him in boarding school in Tucson, but on the way, they stop at a drive-thru where waitress on roller skates seeing Barbara crash into each other. This is the reason why Lance can't stay with Barbara, who needs to keep on the move. "Look what just happened. All I have to do is walk down the street and someone ends up in the hospital," she explains to Lance. With a straight face. As if ego like that is healthy. Do we know a rich TV or movie character with a child who doesn't get tossed into boarding school, putting her life ahead of the kid's? Of course not!'' Have we fogotten about poor Ann Grenville's kid? He jumped out the window due to absentee partenting.
Babsy licks her wounds in Europe, going to fancy parties wearing tiaras, helping prop Jimmy up (he was booted from the army with a dishonorable discharge) and giving jewelry to Pauline. Best of all, she is reunited with Von Cramm. He seems to be the love of her life, but he has to go back to Germany the next day, so he's put on ice again after they spend a night together.
One place we haven't been is Tangier, so why not go? Barbara can spend a fortune there and remain fairly anonymous. She buys a house, outbidding Franco for it, and her possessions make their way via donkey and men with hats around a set with extras that looks like Mexico more than North Africa. Tangier also gives Bruce Davison a chance to get plastered and ride a camel. Barbara literally dresses like royalty and even gets Lance in on the act when he visits. It is excessive, but she seems happy.
But we can't have happiness for our Barbara, can we? Cue Prince Igor Trubestkoy (Leigh Lawson), another impossible stunning man who asks her what it's like to have everything as a second sentence introducing himself. Rather than run from him, Barbara is drawn. Well, he does have a title, he's good looking and he pays her dutiful attention. We're back to our theme! "I don't want to be dominated and I'm terrified of being alone," Barbara says when he proposes perhaps maybe they should think of kind of falling in love. That line sums up the whole movie, but there's still over an hour to go.
We should worry that when Barbara and Igor, in bed during the above scene, finish it, Barbara goes down on Igor and he wears a look of supreme surprise.
Lance is pissed at Barbara because she won't break the agreement with Reventlow and keep him permanently. "Every time we part, something leaves me," Barbara sighs as angry Lance goes back to his father and Igor doesn't even try to comfort her. He then becomes husband #4, but things immediately turn sour when he objects to her drugs, her anorexia, her smoking (she's a richer Judy Garland, I guess). In Igor's defense, Barbara has turned into a raving bitch. He's trying to help and she snaps at him that he's only unhappy because she's not taking care of him ("I always take care of my husbands," she says with a nasty tone and dismisses him). She even admits to Lance that she doesn't love Igor, but Lance is soooooo over his mother and her nonsense. He tells her to stop calling!
Seven years pass and we find Barbara and Jimmy frail and addicted to an assortment of pills and drink that are all over the place. Igor has been discarded and they chat of soon-to-be husband #5, and my personal favorite, Porfirio Rubirosa (he of pepper mill fame). Lance is now an adult with a girlfriend to whom he wants to introduce Mummy. Barbara is so bad off from the drugs, the booze and the lack of eating that she can't even apply her make-up and stumbles around her house in a haze. It's a sure bet the meeting with Lance's girl will not go well. In fact, Lance and the girl bolt as soon as they walk in because Barbara is too drunk to even stand up.
Then comes her suicide attempt, though it's treated as only a blip. Winchell then tells us the entire history of her marriage to Rubirosa in six seconds. It only lasted that many weeks, or $66,000 a day considering what she spent on him. Lance turns 21 and there is a huge black tie affair, where even Cary Grant and Uncle Jimmy show up, but not Barbara. "Do you think your next father is here today?" Jimmy snarls after Lance introduces him to his fiance Jill St. John (Debbie Barker).
Lance has another surprise: he's now a race car driver. Friends, I don't want to alarm you, but no one in a miniseries becomes a race car driver without, well, you know (although this "you know" will have a twist). Lance has a terrible accident during one race where there is a wildly bad moment of continuity. Every time they show the crowd, it's very obviously stock footage of racing fans from the 80s, rather than the 50s. Barbara is so freaked out that she tries offering Jill money to get Lance to stop, but Jill refuses, saying, "if I can't him to stop for love, I certainly won't do it for money." We have to be nice to the character of Jill as she alone among the major characters was still alive when this movie aired (Prince Igor was still alive, but somehow I doubt he had any sway).
Barbara finally marries Baron Von Cramm, husband #6, the man she's always wanted, but there's a hitch. She sees it firsthand when she bursts into the bedroom one day and finds him with another man. Yeah, that hitch. I hate to side with the Nazis, but they did label him a homosexual and they were right. If it's any consolation, he has excellent taste, because the boy in the bed is hot! Barbara claims to have known all along, but didn't want to know about it. Barbara does depression in an interesting way, buying gifts for her friends, a house for the nanny, a villa for Pauline, pearls for Jean, who turns them down because she is a TRUE friend and wants nothing. With Jean in the room, Barbara hits on Jean's husband, and when they try to talk sense into her, she kicks them to the curb. This is the saddest break-up in the whole movie because Barbara only does it to spare them the agony of watching her downward spiral and they genuinely love her.
In Venice, Countess Barbara, haggard and ridiculous, gives a bracelet to a hanger-on who admires it, but a good-looking stranger, James Douglas (Tony Peck) intervenes, gets her back the bracelet and then goes to bed with her. Pillow talk reveals that he has a trust fund too. James is different, because he not only returns all her gifts, but he also tells her the truth about her drinking, drugging and spending. This monologue he delivers in a multi-colored satin dressing gown, so it's hard to take him seriously. She begs James to stay with her, but he says he'll do it only without her friends, even Pauline. Pauline had lavishly spent Barbara's money, so she should have been tossed years ago, but now we're finally rid of her.
The new couple goes off to Mexico, where she has a Japanese-style mansion, and she summons Lance, who is a pissy little brat. He takes an immediately dislike to young James. He also lays it all on the line for his mother, calling her a "drunken slut." "Face it, you never wanted a child," he says, before reminding her that her father didn't want her and now her son doesn't either. "You son of a bitch," James pipes in. "That's right, I'm a real son of a bitch. Good luck, maybe she'll raise you better than me," Lance carps as he storms out. She decides to to back to Tangier, where she can revel in her riches and ignore the rest of the world.
On the plane over, Farrah gets another showy scene where she's so drunk and hopped up that she has a nervous breakdown in the lavatory, calling out for her nanny and thinking James is Reventlow. She even tries to open the hatch. Things are not going well for our heroine (but great for Farrah).
At a party in Tangier, Barbara doesn't make an appearance and the guests won't leave. "Then pay them to go!" she roars at James, who is still trying to save her. Barbara pushes him away too, as she does all positive influences (Pauline is back with the rest of the leeches). James has no choice but to leave. It was nice knowing him, but watching Barbara crash is more fun, so stick-in-the-mud sober James wasn't going to be around long.
Meet Raymond Doan (Neville Jason) whose brother decides "they" will marry Barbara for her money and plot like greedy children. Their conversation is overheard by a friend, so Pauline and Barbara's boyfriend tell her to watch out, but she takes Raymond's side, getting rid of both of them. Pauline gets a teary "I've been a loyal friend" scene, but frankly, she won't be missed. Barbara quickly marries Raymond, much to the dismay of Cousin Jimmy and Graham, her longtime lawyer (David Ackroyd).
Jimmy has a teary goodbye scene with Barbara, which, by the television playbook should mean he will die in the next scene, but it's Lance who bites it in a plane crash as Barbara is having a nightmare about him. She senses the moment of death. Okay, that's a bit much, even for TV dramatics.
It's 1977 now and Graham has had to sell off Barbara's assets because she has no money. Barbara is basically bedridden, her skin see-through, looking far older than her 60some years. She battles Graham, accusing him of stealing her homes, her jewels and her money. She has nothing left, so Graham rips the pearl necklace off her neck to raise some cash. She tells him she thinks he's "the biggest con artist" she's ever met and dispenses with him too.
The finale has Barbara aged beyond recognition, even down to her wrinkled hands, unable to get out of bed and looking 150 years old. She puts on the finery she has left and accepts a visit from Cary Grant, the only man who didn't use her for her money. Farrah gets her last chance to go for the gold with her deathbed speech, looking horrendously ugly and regretting her life. The narrator tells us Barbara died in 1979, worth less than $3500.
Geez, by the time Barbara divorces Cary Grant, not one good thing happens to her and I'm not sure if "Poor Little Rich Girl" is really a glossy miniseries anymore or a high-budget morality tale. I still go with the former, because if the lesson is don't be like Barbara Hutton, none of us have to worry. There are too few people in the world who could afford that lifestyle, and they probably don't watch miniseries anyway.
Seven husbands, umpteen lovers, bad friends, a dead son, a dead mother, a bad father, a scary grandfather and a gazillion dollars. "Poor Little Rich Girl" came along at exactly the right time, at the height of the 80s flashiness. It made perfect sense at the time and still packs a kick, if only to gape at the reality of Barbara's life, as delivered to us through ideally-cast Farrah Fawcett, who would die her own untimely death after much drama (though not as much as the Hutton dame).
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Monte Carlo (1986)
For those who like their war stories dripping in glamour, or at least the illusion of glamour, there is "Monte Carlo" an utterly ridiculous piece about shenanigans in that pleasure capital during World War II. Believe it or not, "Monte Carlo" has just about everything the serious war miniseries have (Nazis, heroes, diamonds and spies), but this one is all for laughs. Don't get me wrong, everyone in it takes it VERY seriously, especially the leads, but the camp factor is insanely high. Unfortunately, "Monte Carlo" goes on way too long as it glides to a soapy conclusion, but there is a great deal of fun to be had.
Joan Collins, at Katrina Petrovna, steps off the train in Monte Carlo looking every bit the way Joan Collins should look: statuesque, dripping fur, pulling in her cheeks, a complete movie star, or performer as she is here.
Then there is George Hamilton as a washed-up writer, a drunk who manages to sport a tuxedo and look smashing whether in a sports car or in a hotel bar.
Oh, if you care about world events between costume changes, it's World War II and Germany has just swept through Holland on his way to France. Joan does not care. She's renting a house and which blocks of ivy are cut is her biggest worry.
The only person who seems to notice the war is Lauren Hutton, George's lover, who wants to go home to New York City as all her friends have done. He rebuffs her offer to go with her, with no desire to be a "pet writer" she can show off to her high-fallutin' friends. You see, he thinks, as war is bursting out all over, that he will suddenly crash through is writer's block.
At dinner that night, George trades barbs with Peter Vaughn, a German businessman. George manages some snaps at "the little man with the mustache," but Peter matches him with two-snap comments about his lack of writing. We also meet Malcolm McDowell, a friend of George's.
When Joan flounces into the dining room in sleeveless marabou with an Italian officer, most of our leads are present, everyone eyeing everyone. One would expect a body with a knife stuck out of it and Hercule Poirot, but this is a miniseries, not a mystery.
The British command in Monte Carlo decide they need someone to do some easy spying and discuss "a woman" who is there already who can handle the "social contacts." She has apparently done some previously, and as long as she can work a camera, she'll do just fine.
Malcolm is trying to get petrol across the sea when Lisa Eilbacher sees him and decides she wants to know him. Her grandfather has just left her tons of money and she wants to "see Europe while it's still here." Good thing the rich have no worries!
You guessed it! Joan is the woman the Brits were discussing. Indeed she knows how to work a camera, but more surprising to me is the fact that she knows how to wear flats. Yes, our Joan Collins can dress simply and even ride a bike. She's caught taking pictures and pretends not to speak French to avoid giving up her camera, when George shows up to save this damsel by pretending they are tourists from Ohio. Yes, they look like Ohioans. Especially with Joan's British accent. Ah, and FYI, George asks her why she's Russian with an English accent and she has an answer ready. Phew, that solves that issue!
Joan, back in a killer outfit, with heels, a hat and polka dots, goes to drop off the film, but the operation in Monte Carlo has hit some snags and thus ensues a ridiculous conversation in code between Joan and the film developing lady, when it would have been so much easier to just say what they meant, as no one was anywhere near them (okay, Peter is lurking outside, but he wouldn't have heard).
"Believe you me, I'm not a friend to the Nazis...I'm a great admirer of the Jewish people," Malcolm tells a Jewish diamond dealer looking to arrange "transportation." It's all happening so quickly and I don't want you to lose any of the plot threads.
Here comes the hilarity, get ready. In the world's smallest can-can club, the emcee introduces Joan in the audience and begs a song. She demures, not having anything prepared and with a "touch of laryngitis," though it might have been easier to tell the truth: she can't sing! So, she goes into a version of "The Last Time I Saw Paris" that is more breathed than warbled, with her eyes closed half the time. It's supposed to be sexy (not that the song asks for sex), but it's anything but.
The next day, Joan has some spying to do. Remember that ivy she didn't want the caretaker to cut? Well, that's where she hides the microphone! Over and over she orders the servants to do things that will get them conveniently out of the way of her operation, but they just think she's a bitch. One more thing: Joan is a wizard when it comes to Morse Code.
After another evening at the can-can (in all of Monte Carlo, is this the only place to go?) Joan takes her Italian home for spiked brandy. He is all hands on our Joan, wearing a complex gown with very long gloves, but she manages to stop him by complaining of all his metals, as "they are squashing me."
Clement Harari, the Jewish man with the diamonds, brings one to Malcolm, who wants one diamond per person he helps smuggle out of France, but Clement wants one per family. "Some of these families are very large," Malcolm quips, because it's always good to make jokes about those fleeing torture.
Joan's Italian, complete, by the way, with the most phony of Italian accents, wants Joan badly, but she's waiting for her potion to kick in, with every ruse in the female spy handbook, but finally he passes out. This gives Joan the chance to play high comedy, because every time she approaches his pockets, he stirs and she has to stop. She's so versatile, our Joan! She manages to find his papers, steam open the envelope, take pictures and return it to his coat before having his driver take him away.
Our heroine is breaking hearts all over A drunken George wants her, complaining to the bartender. "When I heard that woman sing, it was the first time I'd been to the movies," George says, though I didn't realize why that made any sense until George said her eyes were like Heddy Lamarr's, forcing the bartender to say it like "Eddy" and George corrects him in a goony back and forth that is no preparation for what is about to happen: France surrenders. They made it longer than I did, as I had to get up and take a break after George's drunk scene.
Once again, Lauren is the practical one. She's leaving, but gives George the car and the hotel suite. He swears he'll pay it all back and she cries over their ending affair of six months (yeah, six months).
Peter takes over the fortress in Monaco, despite the fact that they are neutral, though said politely by the police. "You people are behaving like gangsters," the head of police says, but a threatening outburst from Peter reminds him how powerless he is. Neutrality hasn't exactly been a barrier for the Nazis.
The Brits discuss the information Joan has been able to get them, which is pretty important. It seems that Monte Carlo is THE place for Axis meetings and since the Beach Club is actually in French territory, this might be the launch place for an invasion of England. This is a chapter of World War II history I don't remember. They think it's best if "their woman" stays clear of the Beach Club, at the very moment she's making a date with her Italian to be there. I see a climax approaching!
In a drunken attempt to woo Joan, George somehow manages to insult her by insinuating that she hangs out with Fascists ("the little spaghetti with all the medals"). That tactic does not work, alas. Having considerably more luck are Malcolm and Lisa, who stretch a double entrendre about an elevator operation into a big dipping kissing scene. That takes us to the next morning, where George shows up at Joan's to apologize, though he does in a kiss as they discuss where each stands on the war issue. Joan, as a spy, obviously has to play it closed to the shoulder pads and tells him "not to become intrigued by me." Intrigued? Talk about your strong emotions!
Joan has a nigthmare memory about why she got into the whole racket, and it has to do with the murder of a man she loved. It was not, alas, her singing voice.
Malcolm, in the middle of making love to Lisa, is summoned to the fortress by Peter, who actually has one good quality: he doesn't allow smoking. Go figure, a Nazi with health restrictions. Anyway, Peter warns Malcolm not to get involved with the Jews escaping racial quotas. Peter offers more money if Malcolm turns sides and then invites him to, what else, the party at the Beach Club.
All six members of the RAF then plan the raid on the Beach Club. The American on their team (why?) says it will be so easy they may even get to stop and enjoy some women and gambling. We know he's a goner from that speech alone!
Malcolm is chased through the streets of Monte Carlo by the Nazis, but gives them the slip and makes it to Clement where they exchange the jewels for the shipping information. But things are very serious for Joan. She has to make it home by midnight in order to get the latest message from HQ. George tries to stop her again, but she refuses to get involved because he doesn't believe in anything. He's just after a good time. Um, is she trying to tip him off that she's a spy, because she's supposed to be a good time gal herself.
Anyway, Joan races to get home by midnight, but everything gets in her way. She makes it through a road block by pretending she has to get home to a sick child, and for a few autographs, the police let her through. Unfortunately, she's late. The message from HQ was to stay clear of the Beach Club, but she's too late and doesn't get it. The very next scene (lest we forget) shows the RAF planes leaving for Monte Carlo as Joan is reminded of her date at the Beach Club.
And it's a swank affair, naturally. Peter and his Nazi cohorts have spared no expenses. Lisa thinks it's "swell" (if she doesn't have a cover story and is simply this stupid, I'm going to be mighty upset), though Malcolm cautions her that "the place is crawling with Gestapo." George is there, though why he would be invited is any one's guess. Naturally, Joan arrives after everyone is already there, looking fetching in white with an enormous hat. She apologizes to George, because she did bite his head off as she was rushing to get home. He forgives her if she'll dance with him (the planes are getting closer, FYI). The angry Italian sees Joan with George and decides to dance with a woman wearing a similar gown.
"We're going to have an air show!" Lisa chirps, but everyone else realizes it's the RAF and bolts. The Italian is killed with a whole bunch of extras doing the worst death falls in TV history. Joan is horrified when she realizes it was the RAF. That's the end of the movie's first part.
Lisa has been wounded, but Malcolm assures her all will be okay. George drives Joan home. "Why do we always say goodbye or apologize to each other?" George wonders, as if they haven't just been shot at by planes! Joan hustles inside to make contact with HQ, but gets no answer. Make-up smeared, dress torn, Joan slumps in a chair. "How could you do that? How could you do that to all those people?" Joan cries.
Robert Carradine, the American on the RAF team, is shot down (we actually don't see that and I'm not sure who has a gun), ending up in Peter's hands, given some serious dunking in a bathtub. Even the RAF command wonders why an American was flying in the mission. It's a valid question. The RAF decides Joan has to get Robert out of harm's way before he can be shipped to Berlin. This ought to be good!
Lisa can't feel her legs, but the nurse refuses to tell her what the problem is. Only the doctor can help and he's at lunch (how very French of him), but Leslie gets so hysterical that the nurse relents.
Joan goes to her French contacts and they don't want to help because she doesn't know the full code and because they feel they don't have to help. But, Joan, in all her Joan Collins splendor, somehow convinces them. They remind her to know all the code next time or she will end up dead. "Are you always this charming?" she snaps.
Malcolm shows up at Lisa's. She's overwhelmed by the roses he brings (okay, maybe she really is that dim). He's even brought champagne. That will make her forget all about her paralysis. Lisa breaks down into crying incoherence (with no tears), managing to wipe away the rest of the cast's mistakes as she hits the worst acting moment of the miniseries. That's a major achievement.
Joan, returning us to the acting level this piece deserves, goes to the POW camp under the guise of wanting to give a concert in her dead Italian's memory. She then insists on meeting Robert as the other prisoners swarm her for autographs. They haven't heard her sing or they wouldn't be wasting their paper. Joan berates Robert for the raid, but he doesn't know her. "I'm Katrina Petrovna! I'm known throughout Europe," she fumes before attacking him in order to drop a message into his shirt. She's good. Forget Tokyo Rose, our Joan could single-handedly win this war for the Allies.
When Malcolm finds Clement dead, he realizes he needs to get out of neutral Monte Carlo, but he needs a fake passport, which will only cost him $50K.
In the who-the-hell-cares part of the plot, George is still romancing Joan. He's complaining about his time in Hollywood, where he wrote screenplays and bought suits, but he never wrote. Joan talks about her time in boarding school learning to speak British English, but she does miss her dacha in Russia, not to mention her parents, executed by the Reds. The two are lit splendidly, which at least gives us something to watch since nothing we hear is of any consequence at all. The big kiss and bed scene are next, though as George is nibbling away, Joan yet again remembers her lover being mowed down by bullets. She tells George a bogus story and he's gallant enough to listen. Then, realizing he's not getting any, he goes to leave. "There hasn't been anyone since him," she tells George. Really?
Malcolm's room is ransacked, but luckily he's put the incriminating evidence in Lisa's room. She's not using it, after all. He then asks George to take the diamonds to Lisbon for $10K. George is beginning to care about the world around him and asks Malcolm what it's all about. Malcolm then fetches Lisa from the hospital and takes her to her to an expensive lunch. Sure, she's in a wheelchair, but otherwise, she seems just ducky, at least in every other sentence. Sometimes she does blubber and get incoherent again.
Robert escapes from the POW camp in a garbage truck using Joan's intel, and he decides a tuxedo is the best disguise because why would anyone suspect a man in a tuxedo? It's Monte Carlo, I guess he has a point. But, he's such an ugly American, he's bound to screw it up somehow. He goes to the casino, sticking out horribly as his contact's house is raided by Peter and his goons. Joan and George are at the casino and Peter shows up as well. She hustles Robert out and then explains the whole thing to George, whom she asks to help. He's awfully slow on the uptake, but eventually he catches on and slips Robert out from Gestapo clutches.
Malcolm has to leave for Paris because he's in trouble, but he confesses his love for Lisa before he goes. He gets his phony passport, but of course he's been followed the whole way by Peter and his goons in the loudest car in all of France. Malcolm realizes when it's already too late, meaning he has to run AGAIN through the twisting streets of Monte Carlo and ultimately shot. Lisa and George are hauled to the police station and Lisa gets in a howler of a speech in lieu of answering questions. She wonders why it would even help, because they won't put the Gestapo on trial! At his funeral, attended only by George and Lisa, the latter says, "nobody knew Quin. Not even Quinn." But, he had clean shirts. Ah, good to know.
Over with that gloom, George spirits Joan off to the countryside, where he reveals he was wounded in World War I and she admits to speaking French (fair trade, I guess). When a boy's toy gets stuck on Joan's roof, the caretaker goes up to fetch it and discovers her hook-up. It hasn't done her much good lately anyway, now has it. "Who is Katrina Petrovna?" George asks Joan on a long walk after she tells him she doesn't think about the future. "Who are you REALLY?" he pushes, but she squirms out of each question with a kiss or a flirt. Joan refuses to answer any questions, which is a shame, because her caretaker has called Peter to tell him about Joan's apparatus. She could use an ally right about now.
But, she doesn't know that and wants to get it on instead. "Are you sure?" George asks before they maul each other in an appropriately geriatric fashion. Peter and his goons go to the hotel where George and Joan are staying. How in the WORLD did they find out where they were? There literally were no clues. Peter arrests Joan for espionage.
Lest we think the Nazis are totally intelligent, they do let George see Joan before he is freed, and she confesses the true story. Peter then interrogates Joan, starting with "How could you? The Fuhrer is one of your greatest fans," he says. "The feeling is not mutual," Joan replies, adopting her toughest tough girl stance before Peter threatens to disfigure her unless she tells him all.
Seeing Peter enjoying himself in a restaurant, Lisa wheels herself over to him and stares him down before yelling and swinging at him, in a hissy fit even the most drunk of drag queens could better. She goes up to George's room to say goodbye and warns him to leave as well. She also confesses she has Malcolm's diamonds and she intends to take them to Lisbon. "Something I gotta do," she says.
The maid pulls a gun on George and takes him to Joan's French friends. He says he can help them, as they are about to kill him, because he thinks he knows the secret way in and out of the fortress. Really, when did he figure that out?
Joan is also being interrogated, though she's a guest of the Nazis, who are using acid. Just a drop of it on her lovely arm leaves an awful blotch. She's lucky that George and company are scaling the walls of the fortress before Peter can get any further on Joan. FYI, George is still in a suit and ascot doing this brave rescue. Did you think he would dress down for the occasion? He's George Hamilton, after all. The SLOWEST gunfight in all of WWII ensues and George breaks Joan out of her cell. He kills a Nazi and they make a dash for it (okay, a shuffle). Peter is lukewarm on their trail (hot is too much to expect of this crowd) and just as George and Joan are about to jump, Peter steps in, but is shot by Joan's French friends and they escape.
Joan confesses her love for George as they race to the airport for Lisbon and then to the United States.
"I don't need papers. My face is my passport!" Joan says before listing all of her credits in hopes that they will let her through the barricade. It's just easier for George to drive through it and they make it to the plane as it's ready to leave.
"Monte Carlo" is actually played in full seriousness. I don't think the players really know they are in terrible crap. Joan Collins could do this role without even getting out of bed, but she goes all out, as she always does. She never actually disappoints, mainly because the bar is low. However, we expect nothing out of George Hamilton and we get nothing. But, let's be honest: a script about the brave heroes and heroines of fancy Monte Carlo at the beginning of WWII isn't exactly the kind of project that inspires a steely attitude. It's not Poland, it's not Berlin. Hell, it's not even Paris. It's just "Monte Carlo."
Joan Collins, at Katrina Petrovna, steps off the train in Monte Carlo looking every bit the way Joan Collins should look: statuesque, dripping fur, pulling in her cheeks, a complete movie star, or performer as she is here.
Then there is George Hamilton as a washed-up writer, a drunk who manages to sport a tuxedo and look smashing whether in a sports car or in a hotel bar.
Oh, if you care about world events between costume changes, it's World War II and Germany has just swept through Holland on his way to France. Joan does not care. She's renting a house and which blocks of ivy are cut is her biggest worry.
The only person who seems to notice the war is Lauren Hutton, George's lover, who wants to go home to New York City as all her friends have done. He rebuffs her offer to go with her, with no desire to be a "pet writer" she can show off to her high-fallutin' friends. You see, he thinks, as war is bursting out all over, that he will suddenly crash through is writer's block.
At dinner that night, George trades barbs with Peter Vaughn, a German businessman. George manages some snaps at "the little man with the mustache," but Peter matches him with two-snap comments about his lack of writing. We also meet Malcolm McDowell, a friend of George's.
When Joan flounces into the dining room in sleeveless marabou with an Italian officer, most of our leads are present, everyone eyeing everyone. One would expect a body with a knife stuck out of it and Hercule Poirot, but this is a miniseries, not a mystery.
The British command in Monte Carlo decide they need someone to do some easy spying and discuss "a woman" who is there already who can handle the "social contacts." She has apparently done some previously, and as long as she can work a camera, she'll do just fine.
Malcolm is trying to get petrol across the sea when Lisa Eilbacher sees him and decides she wants to know him. Her grandfather has just left her tons of money and she wants to "see Europe while it's still here." Good thing the rich have no worries!
You guessed it! Joan is the woman the Brits were discussing. Indeed she knows how to work a camera, but more surprising to me is the fact that she knows how to wear flats. Yes, our Joan Collins can dress simply and even ride a bike. She's caught taking pictures and pretends not to speak French to avoid giving up her camera, when George shows up to save this damsel by pretending they are tourists from Ohio. Yes, they look like Ohioans. Especially with Joan's British accent. Ah, and FYI, George asks her why she's Russian with an English accent and she has an answer ready. Phew, that solves that issue!
Joan, back in a killer outfit, with heels, a hat and polka dots, goes to drop off the film, but the operation in Monte Carlo has hit some snags and thus ensues a ridiculous conversation in code between Joan and the film developing lady, when it would have been so much easier to just say what they meant, as no one was anywhere near them (okay, Peter is lurking outside, but he wouldn't have heard).
"Believe you me, I'm not a friend to the Nazis...I'm a great admirer of the Jewish people," Malcolm tells a Jewish diamond dealer looking to arrange "transportation." It's all happening so quickly and I don't want you to lose any of the plot threads.
Here comes the hilarity, get ready. In the world's smallest can-can club, the emcee introduces Joan in the audience and begs a song. She demures, not having anything prepared and with a "touch of laryngitis," though it might have been easier to tell the truth: she can't sing! So, she goes into a version of "The Last Time I Saw Paris" that is more breathed than warbled, with her eyes closed half the time. It's supposed to be sexy (not that the song asks for sex), but it's anything but.
The next day, Joan has some spying to do. Remember that ivy she didn't want the caretaker to cut? Well, that's where she hides the microphone! Over and over she orders the servants to do things that will get them conveniently out of the way of her operation, but they just think she's a bitch. One more thing: Joan is a wizard when it comes to Morse Code.
After another evening at the can-can (in all of Monte Carlo, is this the only place to go?) Joan takes her Italian home for spiked brandy. He is all hands on our Joan, wearing a complex gown with very long gloves, but she manages to stop him by complaining of all his metals, as "they are squashing me."
Clement Harari, the Jewish man with the diamonds, brings one to Malcolm, who wants one diamond per person he helps smuggle out of France, but Clement wants one per family. "Some of these families are very large," Malcolm quips, because it's always good to make jokes about those fleeing torture.
Joan's Italian, complete, by the way, with the most phony of Italian accents, wants Joan badly, but she's waiting for her potion to kick in, with every ruse in the female spy handbook, but finally he passes out. This gives Joan the chance to play high comedy, because every time she approaches his pockets, he stirs and she has to stop. She's so versatile, our Joan! She manages to find his papers, steam open the envelope, take pictures and return it to his coat before having his driver take him away.
Our heroine is breaking hearts all over A drunken George wants her, complaining to the bartender. "When I heard that woman sing, it was the first time I'd been to the movies," George says, though I didn't realize why that made any sense until George said her eyes were like Heddy Lamarr's, forcing the bartender to say it like "Eddy" and George corrects him in a goony back and forth that is no preparation for what is about to happen: France surrenders. They made it longer than I did, as I had to get up and take a break after George's drunk scene.
Once again, Lauren is the practical one. She's leaving, but gives George the car and the hotel suite. He swears he'll pay it all back and she cries over their ending affair of six months (yeah, six months).
Peter takes over the fortress in Monaco, despite the fact that they are neutral, though said politely by the police. "You people are behaving like gangsters," the head of police says, but a threatening outburst from Peter reminds him how powerless he is. Neutrality hasn't exactly been a barrier for the Nazis.
The Brits discuss the information Joan has been able to get them, which is pretty important. It seems that Monte Carlo is THE place for Axis meetings and since the Beach Club is actually in French territory, this might be the launch place for an invasion of England. This is a chapter of World War II history I don't remember. They think it's best if "their woman" stays clear of the Beach Club, at the very moment she's making a date with her Italian to be there. I see a climax approaching!
In a drunken attempt to woo Joan, George somehow manages to insult her by insinuating that she hangs out with Fascists ("the little spaghetti with all the medals"). That tactic does not work, alas. Having considerably more luck are Malcolm and Lisa, who stretch a double entrendre about an elevator operation into a big dipping kissing scene. That takes us to the next morning, where George shows up at Joan's to apologize, though he does in a kiss as they discuss where each stands on the war issue. Joan, as a spy, obviously has to play it closed to the shoulder pads and tells him "not to become intrigued by me." Intrigued? Talk about your strong emotions!
Joan has a nigthmare memory about why she got into the whole racket, and it has to do with the murder of a man she loved. It was not, alas, her singing voice.
Malcolm, in the middle of making love to Lisa, is summoned to the fortress by Peter, who actually has one good quality: he doesn't allow smoking. Go figure, a Nazi with health restrictions. Anyway, Peter warns Malcolm not to get involved with the Jews escaping racial quotas. Peter offers more money if Malcolm turns sides and then invites him to, what else, the party at the Beach Club.
All six members of the RAF then plan the raid on the Beach Club. The American on their team (why?) says it will be so easy they may even get to stop and enjoy some women and gambling. We know he's a goner from that speech alone!
Malcolm is chased through the streets of Monte Carlo by the Nazis, but gives them the slip and makes it to Clement where they exchange the jewels for the shipping information. But things are very serious for Joan. She has to make it home by midnight in order to get the latest message from HQ. George tries to stop her again, but she refuses to get involved because he doesn't believe in anything. He's just after a good time. Um, is she trying to tip him off that she's a spy, because she's supposed to be a good time gal herself.
Anyway, Joan races to get home by midnight, but everything gets in her way. She makes it through a road block by pretending she has to get home to a sick child, and for a few autographs, the police let her through. Unfortunately, she's late. The message from HQ was to stay clear of the Beach Club, but she's too late and doesn't get it. The very next scene (lest we forget) shows the RAF planes leaving for Monte Carlo as Joan is reminded of her date at the Beach Club.
And it's a swank affair, naturally. Peter and his Nazi cohorts have spared no expenses. Lisa thinks it's "swell" (if she doesn't have a cover story and is simply this stupid, I'm going to be mighty upset), though Malcolm cautions her that "the place is crawling with Gestapo." George is there, though why he would be invited is any one's guess. Naturally, Joan arrives after everyone is already there, looking fetching in white with an enormous hat. She apologizes to George, because she did bite his head off as she was rushing to get home. He forgives her if she'll dance with him (the planes are getting closer, FYI). The angry Italian sees Joan with George and decides to dance with a woman wearing a similar gown.
"We're going to have an air show!" Lisa chirps, but everyone else realizes it's the RAF and bolts. The Italian is killed with a whole bunch of extras doing the worst death falls in TV history. Joan is horrified when she realizes it was the RAF. That's the end of the movie's first part.
Lisa has been wounded, but Malcolm assures her all will be okay. George drives Joan home. "Why do we always say goodbye or apologize to each other?" George wonders, as if they haven't just been shot at by planes! Joan hustles inside to make contact with HQ, but gets no answer. Make-up smeared, dress torn, Joan slumps in a chair. "How could you do that? How could you do that to all those people?" Joan cries.
Robert Carradine, the American on the RAF team, is shot down (we actually don't see that and I'm not sure who has a gun), ending up in Peter's hands, given some serious dunking in a bathtub. Even the RAF command wonders why an American was flying in the mission. It's a valid question. The RAF decides Joan has to get Robert out of harm's way before he can be shipped to Berlin. This ought to be good!
Lisa can't feel her legs, but the nurse refuses to tell her what the problem is. Only the doctor can help and he's at lunch (how very French of him), but Leslie gets so hysterical that the nurse relents.
Joan goes to her French contacts and they don't want to help because she doesn't know the full code and because they feel they don't have to help. But, Joan, in all her Joan Collins splendor, somehow convinces them. They remind her to know all the code next time or she will end up dead. "Are you always this charming?" she snaps.
Malcolm shows up at Lisa's. She's overwhelmed by the roses he brings (okay, maybe she really is that dim). He's even brought champagne. That will make her forget all about her paralysis. Lisa breaks down into crying incoherence (with no tears), managing to wipe away the rest of the cast's mistakes as she hits the worst acting moment of the miniseries. That's a major achievement.
Joan, returning us to the acting level this piece deserves, goes to the POW camp under the guise of wanting to give a concert in her dead Italian's memory. She then insists on meeting Robert as the other prisoners swarm her for autographs. They haven't heard her sing or they wouldn't be wasting their paper. Joan berates Robert for the raid, but he doesn't know her. "I'm Katrina Petrovna! I'm known throughout Europe," she fumes before attacking him in order to drop a message into his shirt. She's good. Forget Tokyo Rose, our Joan could single-handedly win this war for the Allies.
When Malcolm finds Clement dead, he realizes he needs to get out of neutral Monte Carlo, but he needs a fake passport, which will only cost him $50K.
In the who-the-hell-cares part of the plot, George is still romancing Joan. He's complaining about his time in Hollywood, where he wrote screenplays and bought suits, but he never wrote. Joan talks about her time in boarding school learning to speak British English, but she does miss her dacha in Russia, not to mention her parents, executed by the Reds. The two are lit splendidly, which at least gives us something to watch since nothing we hear is of any consequence at all. The big kiss and bed scene are next, though as George is nibbling away, Joan yet again remembers her lover being mowed down by bullets. She tells George a bogus story and he's gallant enough to listen. Then, realizing he's not getting any, he goes to leave. "There hasn't been anyone since him," she tells George. Really?
Malcolm's room is ransacked, but luckily he's put the incriminating evidence in Lisa's room. She's not using it, after all. He then asks George to take the diamonds to Lisbon for $10K. George is beginning to care about the world around him and asks Malcolm what it's all about. Malcolm then fetches Lisa from the hospital and takes her to her to an expensive lunch. Sure, she's in a wheelchair, but otherwise, she seems just ducky, at least in every other sentence. Sometimes she does blubber and get incoherent again.
Robert escapes from the POW camp in a garbage truck using Joan's intel, and he decides a tuxedo is the best disguise because why would anyone suspect a man in a tuxedo? It's Monte Carlo, I guess he has a point. But, he's such an ugly American, he's bound to screw it up somehow. He goes to the casino, sticking out horribly as his contact's house is raided by Peter and his goons. Joan and George are at the casino and Peter shows up as well. She hustles Robert out and then explains the whole thing to George, whom she asks to help. He's awfully slow on the uptake, but eventually he catches on and slips Robert out from Gestapo clutches.
Malcolm has to leave for Paris because he's in trouble, but he confesses his love for Lisa before he goes. He gets his phony passport, but of course he's been followed the whole way by Peter and his goons in the loudest car in all of France. Malcolm realizes when it's already too late, meaning he has to run AGAIN through the twisting streets of Monte Carlo and ultimately shot. Lisa and George are hauled to the police station and Lisa gets in a howler of a speech in lieu of answering questions. She wonders why it would even help, because they won't put the Gestapo on trial! At his funeral, attended only by George and Lisa, the latter says, "nobody knew Quin. Not even Quinn." But, he had clean shirts. Ah, good to know.
Over with that gloom, George spirits Joan off to the countryside, where he reveals he was wounded in World War I and she admits to speaking French (fair trade, I guess). When a boy's toy gets stuck on Joan's roof, the caretaker goes up to fetch it and discovers her hook-up. It hasn't done her much good lately anyway, now has it. "Who is Katrina Petrovna?" George asks Joan on a long walk after she tells him she doesn't think about the future. "Who are you REALLY?" he pushes, but she squirms out of each question with a kiss or a flirt. Joan refuses to answer any questions, which is a shame, because her caretaker has called Peter to tell him about Joan's apparatus. She could use an ally right about now.
But, she doesn't know that and wants to get it on instead. "Are you sure?" George asks before they maul each other in an appropriately geriatric fashion. Peter and his goons go to the hotel where George and Joan are staying. How in the WORLD did they find out where they were? There literally were no clues. Peter arrests Joan for espionage.
Lest we think the Nazis are totally intelligent, they do let George see Joan before he is freed, and she confesses the true story. Peter then interrogates Joan, starting with "How could you? The Fuhrer is one of your greatest fans," he says. "The feeling is not mutual," Joan replies, adopting her toughest tough girl stance before Peter threatens to disfigure her unless she tells him all.
Seeing Peter enjoying himself in a restaurant, Lisa wheels herself over to him and stares him down before yelling and swinging at him, in a hissy fit even the most drunk of drag queens could better. She goes up to George's room to say goodbye and warns him to leave as well. She also confesses she has Malcolm's diamonds and she intends to take them to Lisbon. "Something I gotta do," she says.
The maid pulls a gun on George and takes him to Joan's French friends. He says he can help them, as they are about to kill him, because he thinks he knows the secret way in and out of the fortress. Really, when did he figure that out?
Joan is also being interrogated, though she's a guest of the Nazis, who are using acid. Just a drop of it on her lovely arm leaves an awful blotch. She's lucky that George and company are scaling the walls of the fortress before Peter can get any further on Joan. FYI, George is still in a suit and ascot doing this brave rescue. Did you think he would dress down for the occasion? He's George Hamilton, after all. The SLOWEST gunfight in all of WWII ensues and George breaks Joan out of her cell. He kills a Nazi and they make a dash for it (okay, a shuffle). Peter is lukewarm on their trail (hot is too much to expect of this crowd) and just as George and Joan are about to jump, Peter steps in, but is shot by Joan's French friends and they escape.
Joan confesses her love for George as they race to the airport for Lisbon and then to the United States.
"I don't need papers. My face is my passport!" Joan says before listing all of her credits in hopes that they will let her through the barricade. It's just easier for George to drive through it and they make it to the plane as it's ready to leave.
"Monte Carlo" is actually played in full seriousness. I don't think the players really know they are in terrible crap. Joan Collins could do this role without even getting out of bed, but she goes all out, as she always does. She never actually disappoints, mainly because the bar is low. However, we expect nothing out of George Hamilton and we get nothing. But, let's be honest: a script about the brave heroes and heroines of fancy Monte Carlo at the beginning of WWII isn't exactly the kind of project that inspires a steely attitude. It's not Poland, it's not Berlin. Hell, it's not even Paris. It's just "Monte Carlo."
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Holocaust (1978)
In order to even considering making "Holocaust," I would think that the powers behind it needed assurance themselves that this was going to be a first-rate project, something honorable, critic-proof and engaging to audiences who could easily have turned away in disgust. After all, if they came up with a 7.5-hour mistake or even a mass of boredom, it would have been not only embarrassing, but culturally inept. The Holocaust is certainly one event in history over which people cannot complain. There are no two sides to the story. The Germans do not get to defend it or their actions. The miniseries thrives on these events (WWII and The Civil War as the two best examples) because good and bad are so clearly defined before the credits even roll.
But, "Holocaust" is, very nearly, the perfect miniseries, at least as attention-grabbing historical pieces that were such a force of the genre in its first decade. There is one plot flaw that stands out to me, but it's handled nobly and without fuss, but otherwise, I do not have too many complaints to lob at it. At this point, it's become known as a Meryl Streep property, but that's because of who Meryl became in the years since 1978. There is no denying that she is utterly brilliant here, as always, but I think the centerpiece of the movie is Rosemary Harris. Dignified and elegant, it's her character that gives the piece its moral strength and the most character arc. She starts as someone almost alarmingly unaware of the world around her and comes to be the most calm and accepting of her fate. In essence, her character is the world at the time: first blissfully unconcerned, then purposely naive, then knocked down peg by peg until there is no escaping what is really going on. To play such a role requires the talents very few actresses posses and luckily Rosemary Harris (who has never given a bad performance that I'm aware of) is one of them. This is not a showy performance, mind you. It's serene and intelligent.
The movie starts in 1935 with the marriage of Jewish James Woods and shiksa Meryl Streep. James' proud father Fritz Weaver proposes a toast to his new in-laws, his Polish brother Sam Wanamaker, his in-laws, etc. On Meryl's side, there are some definite Jew haters. Rosemary Harris' father was in the first World War, which he thinks bonds him to Meryl's family, in Hitler's army. James' siblings Blanche Baker and Timothy Bottoms are typical young kids. Politics are there only on the non-Jewish side, but not taken too seriously.
Dr. Fritz Weaver treats a typical German couple, Michael Moriarty and his wife Deborah Norton, who has a slight heart murmur. Nothing serious. He's an unemployed lawyer with no political bend at all. She wants him to look into a government job, but he's a baker's son, what does he know of politics? Off he goes to David Warner, who likes him immediately because of his honesty. The guy just wants a job, rather than ingratiating himself with the party. All he knows about the SS is that they are the police, though David Warner tries to get him to think more like the Nazis. "What do you think of Jews?" "Neutral," Michael says. He gets the job and his wife immediately becomes the most calculating character. She insists he wear his SS uniform (which scares his child) everywhere so they can get the best cuts of meat, etc.
A few years pass and Michael returns to Fritz's office to tell him it's illegal for him to treat "Aryans" and to leave German. Fritz is practicing against heavy odds, since most rights for Jewish doctors have been taken away. "Don't come to me for help," Michael blandly spits out. He just wants the Jews gone. Fritz goes to Rosemary hoping that perhaps now she will want to move, but she is against it, unafraid. She still believes that a country that produced Schiller can't be all that bad. But it is. Timothy can barely play a game of soccer without being trounced, punched, unfairly treated and called harsh names. With quotas set and Jews welcomed nowhere, Rosemary decides once again they will stay. "Hitler has Czechoslovakia. He has Austria. What more does he want?"
When a high-ranking party member is killed, reprisals are needed. It's Michael who comes up with a solution that will not anger the press. They can send the SS in without uniforms, a totally civilian operation. So, dressed in mufti, the Germans go hog wild and tear up the Jewish quarter. Rosemary's father is severely beaten his store burned and he's made to thump a drum wearing a sign saying he's Jewish. He's stunned, but so is the whole neighborhood. Rosemary again says they should do nothing, but Timothy and Blanche run out to save their grandfather and only because a relative of Meryl's knows them, are they allowed to get to him. Kristallnacht.
James wants to get out of the country, even leave Meryl because she is in no danger, but they are too much in love. Then Meryl's mother lets the Nazi's in to arrest him, blaming Meryl for having brought Jews into the family. Off they go with James, Meryl trailing behind. Fritz has to put Mr. Lowy back together again after he's beaten, since he's still allowed to treat Jewish patients. Rosemary's parents are forced to move in with the family. When Rosemary hears that James has been arrested, she finally breaks down. "We are being punished for my pride." She's made her first transition, at least realizing that there is a problem. But, she quickly recovers herself, sends Fritz back to work and goes to help her parents get settled.
Fritz does just what he was told not to do. He goes to Michael to find out how he can get James freed. Michael, having been promoted, refuses to help, long having been converted to party indoctrination and beginning to invent some of his own. Deborah, as usual, insists that he boot Fritz to the curb. "You can't endanger your career."
James is sent to Buchenwald, beaten when he won't answer the question, "name of the whore who gave birth to you?" Fritz is ordered to leave Germany. At Meryl's church, the priest vows to help and pray for the Jews. Michael is there to watch a steady stream of people leaving at such blasphemy, including Meryl's parents. She stays.
Fritz is forced to leave for Poland, though with George Rose (Mr. Lowy) and his wife in tow. Even now, though, they fight for some normalcy. Blanche is to continue playing her piano. "Love conquers all," he says, very naively trying to be brave.
Because James is an artist, he is assigned to the Buchenwald tailor shop where he sews labels on uniforms, now wearing one himself. He's most horrified to learn about the label for people who are insane or handicapped. Since they are useless, they are simply gassed.
Rosemary and her family are forced to move from their house, going to live with Meryl's family, not at all happen to have Jews there. Rosemary believes the Germans when they say there will be reimbursement for taking her husband's practice. All she takes is his diploma, still proud. Blanche has one last opportunity to play the piano since there is no room at their new place. Worst of all, Rosemary's parents kill themselves, wisely escaping the future.
In comparison, Michael is in glory. He and the family are meeting with Eichmann himself at a park with a noisy carousel. Deborah is starting to dress better.
Fritz is dumped into Poland (Germany has not invaded yet), literally let go on the other side of the border. His brother Sam Wanamaker is there to greet him, and takes in George and his wife too since they have no one. Meryl is fighting with her family to keep her in-laws. "I want that Jew bitch and her children out," her father rails, but she holds firm. Timothy decides he cannot stay and wait. He leaves the family.
In Poland in 1939, a synagogue is burned with people inside and Michael Moriarty gleefully shows slides to David Warner of Jews killed in various forms. What bothers Michael most is that there is no clean pattern to the killings. It all needs to be more organized. He takes Deborah to a party and she's fully glamorous now, totally given over to the power of her husband's position. Also at the all is Michael's Uncle Robert Stephens, who has a contract to build roads for the Nazis.
Fritz is on the Jewish council in Warsaw, a canny idea by the Germans so that it looks like the Jews are making their own decisions. He has the power of life and death, or at least has to take credit for those decisions. Tony Haygarth, who has been anti-Jewish since Meryl's wedding, pays lip service to Meryl when she tries to find out what has happened to James. Once again, she refuses to abandon her Jewish family.
Blanche has an hysterical scene where she rips into Rosemary, castigating her for being so upright and blind. Nothing she says is wrong and she runs off, maybe to go like her brother. She brazenly rips the yellow star from her coat on the way out and runs into the New Year's celebration on the streets. Deciding to return home, she encounters some drunk German soldiers and tries to hide from them. She tries to run, but they catch her and rape her in a truly horrifying scene, especially since they are smiling while doing it.
For fighting over a piece of bread, James and his friend are put on display for all to see what happens to rule breakers. James' spirit is broken and he hasn't hear from Meryl in a year. At the other end of the spectrum, Michael is thriving, having been sent to Poland to oversee the organizational plans there. Uppermost in his plans is a wall built around the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw, where thousands are shipped from all over occupied territories.
Since the rape, Blanche does not speak and Meryl, being a non-Jew, can take her to a doctor, who arranges to get her to a sanitarium. It all seems to make sense to Meryl, who has become a very tender sister to her, though she does wonder to the doctor as to whether she's "doing the right thing." It's all a cover. Taken with the lame and retarded, she is immediately gassed. If this scene doesn't get you, well, it should! Rosemary is sent a letter saying Blanche died of pneumonia. Note her version is beating her chest as she reads the news. Unlike the typical harsh thumping, she merely tabs her heart, handkerchief in hand, as she reads the letter. She's still trying to believe it's all not happening. It's Meryl who breaks down.
Timothy has made it to Prague, where Tovah Feldshuh runs a store and is a link to the rebels. Timothy spots her and goes to follow her, but she intervenes. She pretends he stole his backpack and the police leave him alone. She wants to know why he's run away and there are instant sparks of attraction between them, though it's really more about Timothy having not seen a woman in a very long time. They sleep together immediately (hey, we need a dash of sex even in the midst of World War II). Timothy wants Tovah to come with him on the run.
Rosemary is deported to Warsaw, reunited with her husband, but now that she is there, we can finally get a glimpse of the actual ghetto and its poverty. We need this character of refinement in order to show the disparity. She even tells Fritz that he can tell her the truth, that she fully understands everything now. She tells him about Blanche, and as upset as he is, she's now the comforting person. Fritz says life is better than death. "I'm not so sure anymore," Rosemary says, making that arc I spoke of earlier.
Meryl sets off for Buchenwald and Tony, who has summoned her. His letter said he would arrange a meeting for Meryl and James, but now he's going back on it, saying restrictions are making it tough to manage that. Instead of showing her into a "visitor's room," Tony takes her to his bedroom, where Meryl immediately knows what will be required of her, though the scene plays out wonderfully slowly so give Meryl a chance to ponder how to maneuver this supremely evil man. Tony claims he can get letters back and forth and even get James a job in the art studio rather than outside, taking off his clothes to show what he expects in return. Though disgusted, she has to allow it.
Tovah is so serious about the resistance movement, she wears a beret, the international symbol of people series about the resistance movement. They are caught in Hungary, but Timothy overpowers a guard and steals a gun. Tovah wants to give up, but Timothy convinces her to keep going. They end up in Soviet-occupied territory. The leader wants to send them back to the Germans, but Timothy has Tovah tell him the Germans are turning on them and that her father was a good Communist (and he even has her kiss him). They go off to Kiev in the back of a hay wagon.
Tony is still playing go-between for Meryl and James, telling James that he receives payment, non-monetary, for his services. James is aghast, swearing no more letters. He's as upset at Meryl as he is at Tony.
Michael shows up on the Russian front to watch a demonstration killing. He's annoyed that there are Ukrainian civilians watching, that movie cameras and war correspondents are there, and that bullets are being wasted on "a carnival." He has no sympathy for the people being killed; he's only interested in efficiency. The officer he berates forces him to shoot some, to make him understand. There's a twinge of perhaps understanding, but he goes through with it, no worse for the experience.
Even in Warsaw, Rosemary clings to what she knows, teaching the kids to sing French songs. The class includes the ghetto's best smuggler, who can get through the wall. The Jewish council is told of what is happening in Eastern Europe, and that the only way to safety is to fight back, to smuggle in guns and ammo. Fritz encounters an interesting character when one of his nurses is arrested: a Jew who converts from the faith to stay in good with the Nazis. For the time being, no doubt his life is spared as he follows orders, but does he really think the Nazis won't circle back and kill anyone born Jewish? Sam decides to go with the Zionists and find ways to fight back.
Very conveniently, Meryl's soldier brother's life is saved by Timothy and Tovah, and he tells them about Timothy's various family members. But, when it comes time to save their lives, the brother rats them out. Don't worry, he gets blown up by the Red Army seconds later. They are marched to a work camp, but manage to escape on the way, only moments before the rest of the prisoners are gunned down en masse. Michael is watching, amazed that no one fights back. "That just proves they don't deserve to live," he's told. "Simply fantastic," he bleats in amazement at how many people are about to die. "Nobody will believe us. They will say we lied," Timothy says as he sees the shootings (and after Tovah's inevitable "hold me"). On his way back from the shooting, Michael encounters Uncle Robert. Uncle Robert sees through the party lines Michael shows, giving Michael a chance to defend it, making him more evil than ever.
Though Rosemary has no illusions anymore, she does keep photos of their family on the wall, as a way of hoping that somewhere someone might be safe. In fact, she's willing to give up the money she sewed into her coat to help the cause. When a Jew slips into the ghetto telling of what's really going on, the elders decide they have to get arms and fight back. Rosemary hands over all of her cash after overhearing the meeting.
It's Christmas at Michael's house, where Deborah is playing the Bechstein that once belonged to Rosemary and Fritz. Uncle Robert once again starts to question where the piano really came from, and Michael's son chirps that it came from Jews who "went away." The family is totally isolated from the truth of what Michael really does. When they find pictures of the family, Michael coldly tells his daughter to get rid of them and she tosses them into the fire. How prophetic.
James is transferred to the art department where he is supposed to make propaganda posters. He gets a letter from Meryl and he's still very angry. But, he's being transferred to Theresienstadt, which is the ghetto the Germans show to the rest of the world, a model ghetto with parks and painted buildings, all of it a phony facade.
Tovah is in a complaining mood, but Timothy finds raw potatoes, the two joking when they are surrounded by...resistance fighters!
In Theresienstadt, the artists paint the truth, but hide it in the radiators when the place is checked. This is something James can understand. When the Swedes come through, the workshop looks idyllic, with pictures of happy children and people at cafes.
Timothy is put on guard duty and Tovah follows him, and he asks if the rabbi will perform a wedding. In the midst of everything, they actually hold a wedding, complete with a veil, a huppa and a few instruments. It's a welcome bit of happiness in the middle of such strive and tenuous life. Unfortunately, as soon as the dancing starts, they find out the Nazis are coming and have to dash.
Himmler (Ian Holm) comes to pay a visit, watching executions with whole tables of food set up for a buffet. Himmler doesn't react well to the violence, insisting that they "find another way." Shooting is inefficient. However, he praises his soldiers in a doozie of a speech that compares Jews to bedbugs, a strange little lapse in writing here. But, he's supposed to be a buffoon. Other offices are tired of Michael's high-handed behavior, so they decide to destroy him. Unsigned letters arrive in Berlin about his Communist father and possible Jewish blood, none of which is true (the father was a socialist at best). He needs to come up with an idea quickly. He also knows who has been writing the letters, and he won't hesitate to turn them in if they don't come up with a mass murder solution quickly.
Timothy and company stage an ambush and Timothy has to kill for the first time. "I thought I was so tough," he says. But he is! He's managed to escape Berlin, Prague and every other center of horror in order to fight against the Germans. Tovah wants desperately to go to Palestine and Timothy agrees, but even in a miniseries of stellar as "Holocaust," the maxim holds: those who talk of the future rarely get to see it.
Back in Warsaw, Sam and his urchin friend sneak through the wall in order to buy the first gun for their opposition movement. They were expecting 12 guns, but there is only one. The Zionist gives them a lesson in how to use it. "Now all we need is ammunition," Sam says. "It's a beginning."
The Nazis have decided that Auschwitz will be increased in size, their grandest jewel. The man hired to run it is a devoted Nazi, taught to obey since childhood. Michael, of course, will be his liaison between the Nazis and this new horror master. Michael is at least realistic about the war, telling Deborah it was over for Germany the minute the US entered it. "Someday, people will tell monstrous lies about what we did," Michael says, crying that all he did was obey orders. It's his touch of conscience, but it's way too late. Any attempt to bring sympathy to this character has come too late. And he's not even telling the truth. He's done more active than passive work. David Warner is almost assassinated and all Deborah can worry about is that it might be a promotion for him. Michael comes across Zyklon B, the gas agent that will revolutionize mass murder, and it's cheap too, always a benefit.
We haven't seen Meryl in a while, but she's on her way to church, with Tony following her. He confesses his love for her, but she wants to be left alone. She's looking for the kindly priest who talked about the Jews, but he's been taken away to Dachau. Here comes the plot point that bothers me. Meryl ASKS to go to the concentration camp to be with her husband. It makes her the ultimate Christian martyr, and gives her a lot to play, but there has to be a better way to get her inside than simply asking to be sent!
The sketches that have been made in secret by James and his cohorts are in Nazi hands. But, one fool in the studio sold them for cigarettes and marmalade. But, it doesn't stop James and the others from painting their grim truths. Meryl arrives in the studio, having gotten her way, now part of the camp. He hasn't forgiven her for the way she made the letters happen, but she justifies her actions, hating him the whole time. She does not back down. She loves him that much.
The Nazis insists of the Warsaw elders that 6000 people per day be transported to "work camps" in Russia. But, it turns out it's really Treblinka and this is the first time the people in Warsaw hear of the mass gassing with proof. Even the BBC radio says something bad is happening in Poland, but nothing specific about gas chambers or the ghettos. They desperately need guns, and Fritz has an idea for saving at least a handful every day by setting up a clinic at the rail station. It's a good cover, but it can only save a few a day.
All of James' paintings have made it to the big cheeses. Michael intends to crush them, but he's worried about his own position since this happened on his watch. The artists are brought in to see Michael and Eichmann. The questioning doesn't get very far, and Michael targets James as the link he can break, talking "Berliner to Berliner." "That's the problem with you people, you can't forget the past," Michael tells him, but James does not crack. The artists are taken for a more severe questioning, as Meryl goes for the gold yelling in the street running after the truck bearing her husband. The three artists are taken for torture, suffering severe beatings in the most grizzly scene so far. As James is suffering a beating, Meryl is helping to smuggle out the pictures.
Deborah finds out the truth about Michael's work, and can't understand why he has any reservations about it. This makes her easily one of the top ten most frightful women in television history. Michael and the Nazis are awful, of course, but here is a character who has no reason to be involved or hate, but she's more interested than the Nazis themselves! Perhaps this is a way to help humanize Michael's character, but it doesn't work. That cannot possibly happen at this point, but she sure as hell does top him now.
Michael brings a hygiene expert to Auschwitz, where a band of prisoners, in costume, play classical music at this "family camp." Michael is clearly sickened by what he sees, but his career is such a concern, he has to make sure no one suspects. Again, it's too late to make us care about him or sympathize. A "demonstration" is put on for the visiting expert. He's thrilled to look through the viewing hole as people howl for their lives.
The fake clinic scam is figured out and everyone involved with it is ordered on the next train. Rosemary is teaching the kids the "Kadima" when she is arrested, putting up a pretense for the kids that she will be back the next day and they should finish out their day with Shakespeare. Now she's come around to knowing and even accepting the full truth, but comforting those around her. She's still the earth mother, still the calming presence, but this time completely in the know. She and Fritz, with George and his wife, are sent to Auschwitz.
It's been a while since we checked in with our resistance friends. Timothy dresses up in a German military outfit and kills two guards so the others can go in and raid a beer hall where the officers are having a party. It's a complete success. They shoot nearly everyone there and take heaps of ammunition. Timothy get shot in the leg, but it's not fatal..
As the final episode begins, Timothy is having a bullet pulled out of his leg, with Tovah a supportive, if over-protective, wife. She has her going-for-the-Emmy speech, and her speech is right: they can kill a few Germans here or there, but they will most likely die themselves.
James' friends have died from the beatings, but he's still alive, his hands destroyed so he can never paint again. He is being sent to Auschwitz, though he's allowed 30 minutes to say goodbye to his wife, who is pregnant. He wants her to get rid of the baby, but she insists, not on her Catholic beliefs, but on the words of the rabbis, that she will not and before he leaves, he tells her to show the child all the pictures they have drawn.
In the Warsaw ghetto, plans are still afoot for an uprising. Three hundred thousand have been taken from the ghetto and only 50,000 remain, but the Nazis are suspicious, going from house to house checking for contraband. Sam gets his first chance to kill and he does not hesitate. Even the smuggling boy knocks a few off. "There is a God after all. Jews fighting back!" Sam declares. After killing a slew of Nazis, the latter retreat. They are even brave enough to take off their arm bands.
At Auschwitz, Rosemary still clings to her family pictures. Fritz is able to sneak into her barracks. Fritz thinks there is still a chance they will survive, but Rosemary is now the more realistic one. She knows the truth. A young girl is given to the care of Rosemary who is like her own daughter, mute after shock. It's then that the guards come in and take everyone away. She leaves the pictures and takes the mute girl. To the last, Rosemary holds the girl with her.
Then comes the moment that, for me, defines the whole movie: Rosemary is led into the gas chamber and it's James who comes in to collect the clothes of those just sent in. It's utterly heartbreaking, more so because the characters have no idea.
Fritz and George are part of the road crew, but Fritz is having breathing trouble due to the tar. Uncle Robert is running the crew and takes pity on him, having him tend the fire rather than pave the road. At this very moment, Michael shows up. They are feet away from his old doctor, Fritz, and Michael does not see him. He and Uncle Robert have a frank discussion, with Michael clinging to his beliefs. "I should strangle you as a favor to your father," Uncle Robert snaps before tossing Michael out of his little hut.
Fritz and George find out their wives are dead from the Jewish woman who led them to the gas chamber, though she barks the now stomach-turningly familiar, "I was just following orders," the excuse of an entire nation. Fritz at least finds Rosemary's pictures and her sheet music (that she took all over the place?).
Sam has turned into a gun-toting realist. It's Passover and Himmler has promised Hitler to liquidate the ghetto for his birthday. The Nazis send a truck in with Passover wishes, but they shoot the truck back. Unfortunately, the Nazis have a big force to send in. That posse flees in an instant. The Nazis return in full force as the Seder is going on. Okay, I admit, the dichotomy is being laid on awfully thick, but it's impossible not to be swept up in the moment. A big battle ensues, and the Nazis retreat, but that leaves the Warsaw Jews have no food or medicine as the weeks wear on. They print up leaflets and the smuggler kid helps the guy take them out. Now they are even out of paper. The guy with the leaflets is shot right as he gets through the wall, but the papers are strewn around so people can see them. The Nazis bomb with gas and some of the warriors have cyanide tablets. Others try to run for it. Those who left the buildings are found by the Nazis and shot up against a wall.
Michael makes one last attempt to save his career by turning in Uncle Robert's Jewish work detail (Jews are marked for death, not work). So, that means Fritz and George are taken off the road and send for "delousing."
Timothy and company have planned to blow up a convoy, but they Nazis somehow know and chase the fighters through the woods. Tovah is killed by a bullet and the survivors end up in Sobibor, where an escape plan is in full swing.
Himmler wants the camps dismantled because he knows the war is lost. But, Michael, now so crazed by doctrine that he's pretty much insane, says the camps should remain as monuments to what they have done, which was pre-destined in European history. It's a rah rah speech that a few years earlier would have had him promoted up the ranks, but with the war nearly over, it just seems pathetic.
James finds out his parents were killed in the same camp, but his friend from Buchenwald thinks they will be saved as the Americans and Soviets are advancing.
At Sobibor, Timothy is a major part of the escape, which works. He and the Russian soldiers flee the camp. They Russians go east and Timothy decides to go west to search for his family. There won't be anyone to find, as James has died doing one last drawing before the Nazis went on a killing rampage. Michael is hauled in by the Americans to explain his acts and does his best to stick to the party line, as always. Though he winces or swallows now and then, he refuses to tell the truth. After one last look through his beloved pictures of the atrocities, he swallows his poison tablet, a coward to the end.
Deborah gets a letter saying her husband died a hero, and Uncle Robert says it's untrue. He tells her the real story of his death, but she and her kids will not listen to what he has to say. He refuses to back down, feeling guilty that he stood by and watched. "I won't be silent," he says as he goes to leave. One can only hope the final suffering goes to Deborah when she finally admits the truth.
Timothy is still alive and has made it to the great ghetto where he finds Meryl and her son, having stayed on once the camps are all liberated. They are the only ones left, having not seen each other for seven years. She still has the drawings as well. "I'm a kind of blank. No hate, no love, like the living dead walking through the camps," he says, unable to place any blame.
The film ends almost where it began, with Timothy playing soccer with kids. It will be his job to teach the next generation. He is offered a job helping get Jews to Palestine.
So it ends, with a note of hope, but a mind full of heartbreaking memories. "Holocaust" is brave and honest, as brave and honest as the lead characters it shows us over 7.5 supremely memorable hours. In the annals of historical miniseries, this ranks as one of the greatest history lessons ever, gritty and unyielding, but true through and through.
But, "Holocaust" is, very nearly, the perfect miniseries, at least as attention-grabbing historical pieces that were such a force of the genre in its first decade. There is one plot flaw that stands out to me, but it's handled nobly and without fuss, but otherwise, I do not have too many complaints to lob at it. At this point, it's become known as a Meryl Streep property, but that's because of who Meryl became in the years since 1978. There is no denying that she is utterly brilliant here, as always, but I think the centerpiece of the movie is Rosemary Harris. Dignified and elegant, it's her character that gives the piece its moral strength and the most character arc. She starts as someone almost alarmingly unaware of the world around her and comes to be the most calm and accepting of her fate. In essence, her character is the world at the time: first blissfully unconcerned, then purposely naive, then knocked down peg by peg until there is no escaping what is really going on. To play such a role requires the talents very few actresses posses and luckily Rosemary Harris (who has never given a bad performance that I'm aware of) is one of them. This is not a showy performance, mind you. It's serene and intelligent.
The movie starts in 1935 with the marriage of Jewish James Woods and shiksa Meryl Streep. James' proud father Fritz Weaver proposes a toast to his new in-laws, his Polish brother Sam Wanamaker, his in-laws, etc. On Meryl's side, there are some definite Jew haters. Rosemary Harris' father was in the first World War, which he thinks bonds him to Meryl's family, in Hitler's army. James' siblings Blanche Baker and Timothy Bottoms are typical young kids. Politics are there only on the non-Jewish side, but not taken too seriously.
Dr. Fritz Weaver treats a typical German couple, Michael Moriarty and his wife Deborah Norton, who has a slight heart murmur. Nothing serious. He's an unemployed lawyer with no political bend at all. She wants him to look into a government job, but he's a baker's son, what does he know of politics? Off he goes to David Warner, who likes him immediately because of his honesty. The guy just wants a job, rather than ingratiating himself with the party. All he knows about the SS is that they are the police, though David Warner tries to get him to think more like the Nazis. "What do you think of Jews?" "Neutral," Michael says. He gets the job and his wife immediately becomes the most calculating character. She insists he wear his SS uniform (which scares his child) everywhere so they can get the best cuts of meat, etc.
A few years pass and Michael returns to Fritz's office to tell him it's illegal for him to treat "Aryans" and to leave German. Fritz is practicing against heavy odds, since most rights for Jewish doctors have been taken away. "Don't come to me for help," Michael blandly spits out. He just wants the Jews gone. Fritz goes to Rosemary hoping that perhaps now she will want to move, but she is against it, unafraid. She still believes that a country that produced Schiller can't be all that bad. But it is. Timothy can barely play a game of soccer without being trounced, punched, unfairly treated and called harsh names. With quotas set and Jews welcomed nowhere, Rosemary decides once again they will stay. "Hitler has Czechoslovakia. He has Austria. What more does he want?"
When a high-ranking party member is killed, reprisals are needed. It's Michael who comes up with a solution that will not anger the press. They can send the SS in without uniforms, a totally civilian operation. So, dressed in mufti, the Germans go hog wild and tear up the Jewish quarter. Rosemary's father is severely beaten his store burned and he's made to thump a drum wearing a sign saying he's Jewish. He's stunned, but so is the whole neighborhood. Rosemary again says they should do nothing, but Timothy and Blanche run out to save their grandfather and only because a relative of Meryl's knows them, are they allowed to get to him. Kristallnacht.
James wants to get out of the country, even leave Meryl because she is in no danger, but they are too much in love. Then Meryl's mother lets the Nazi's in to arrest him, blaming Meryl for having brought Jews into the family. Off they go with James, Meryl trailing behind. Fritz has to put Mr. Lowy back together again after he's beaten, since he's still allowed to treat Jewish patients. Rosemary's parents are forced to move in with the family. When Rosemary hears that James has been arrested, she finally breaks down. "We are being punished for my pride." She's made her first transition, at least realizing that there is a problem. But, she quickly recovers herself, sends Fritz back to work and goes to help her parents get settled.
Fritz does just what he was told not to do. He goes to Michael to find out how he can get James freed. Michael, having been promoted, refuses to help, long having been converted to party indoctrination and beginning to invent some of his own. Deborah, as usual, insists that he boot Fritz to the curb. "You can't endanger your career."
James is sent to Buchenwald, beaten when he won't answer the question, "name of the whore who gave birth to you?" Fritz is ordered to leave Germany. At Meryl's church, the priest vows to help and pray for the Jews. Michael is there to watch a steady stream of people leaving at such blasphemy, including Meryl's parents. She stays.
Fritz is forced to leave for Poland, though with George Rose (Mr. Lowy) and his wife in tow. Even now, though, they fight for some normalcy. Blanche is to continue playing her piano. "Love conquers all," he says, very naively trying to be brave.
Because James is an artist, he is assigned to the Buchenwald tailor shop where he sews labels on uniforms, now wearing one himself. He's most horrified to learn about the label for people who are insane or handicapped. Since they are useless, they are simply gassed.
Rosemary and her family are forced to move from their house, going to live with Meryl's family, not at all happen to have Jews there. Rosemary believes the Germans when they say there will be reimbursement for taking her husband's practice. All she takes is his diploma, still proud. Blanche has one last opportunity to play the piano since there is no room at their new place. Worst of all, Rosemary's parents kill themselves, wisely escaping the future.
In comparison, Michael is in glory. He and the family are meeting with Eichmann himself at a park with a noisy carousel. Deborah is starting to dress better.
Fritz is dumped into Poland (Germany has not invaded yet), literally let go on the other side of the border. His brother Sam Wanamaker is there to greet him, and takes in George and his wife too since they have no one. Meryl is fighting with her family to keep her in-laws. "I want that Jew bitch and her children out," her father rails, but she holds firm. Timothy decides he cannot stay and wait. He leaves the family.
In Poland in 1939, a synagogue is burned with people inside and Michael Moriarty gleefully shows slides to David Warner of Jews killed in various forms. What bothers Michael most is that there is no clean pattern to the killings. It all needs to be more organized. He takes Deborah to a party and she's fully glamorous now, totally given over to the power of her husband's position. Also at the all is Michael's Uncle Robert Stephens, who has a contract to build roads for the Nazis.
Fritz is on the Jewish council in Warsaw, a canny idea by the Germans so that it looks like the Jews are making their own decisions. He has the power of life and death, or at least has to take credit for those decisions. Tony Haygarth, who has been anti-Jewish since Meryl's wedding, pays lip service to Meryl when she tries to find out what has happened to James. Once again, she refuses to abandon her Jewish family.
Blanche has an hysterical scene where she rips into Rosemary, castigating her for being so upright and blind. Nothing she says is wrong and she runs off, maybe to go like her brother. She brazenly rips the yellow star from her coat on the way out and runs into the New Year's celebration on the streets. Deciding to return home, she encounters some drunk German soldiers and tries to hide from them. She tries to run, but they catch her and rape her in a truly horrifying scene, especially since they are smiling while doing it.
For fighting over a piece of bread, James and his friend are put on display for all to see what happens to rule breakers. James' spirit is broken and he hasn't hear from Meryl in a year. At the other end of the spectrum, Michael is thriving, having been sent to Poland to oversee the organizational plans there. Uppermost in his plans is a wall built around the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw, where thousands are shipped from all over occupied territories.
Since the rape, Blanche does not speak and Meryl, being a non-Jew, can take her to a doctor, who arranges to get her to a sanitarium. It all seems to make sense to Meryl, who has become a very tender sister to her, though she does wonder to the doctor as to whether she's "doing the right thing." It's all a cover. Taken with the lame and retarded, she is immediately gassed. If this scene doesn't get you, well, it should! Rosemary is sent a letter saying Blanche died of pneumonia. Note her version is beating her chest as she reads the news. Unlike the typical harsh thumping, she merely tabs her heart, handkerchief in hand, as she reads the letter. She's still trying to believe it's all not happening. It's Meryl who breaks down.
Timothy has made it to Prague, where Tovah Feldshuh runs a store and is a link to the rebels. Timothy spots her and goes to follow her, but she intervenes. She pretends he stole his backpack and the police leave him alone. She wants to know why he's run away and there are instant sparks of attraction between them, though it's really more about Timothy having not seen a woman in a very long time. They sleep together immediately (hey, we need a dash of sex even in the midst of World War II). Timothy wants Tovah to come with him on the run.
Rosemary is deported to Warsaw, reunited with her husband, but now that she is there, we can finally get a glimpse of the actual ghetto and its poverty. We need this character of refinement in order to show the disparity. She even tells Fritz that he can tell her the truth, that she fully understands everything now. She tells him about Blanche, and as upset as he is, she's now the comforting person. Fritz says life is better than death. "I'm not so sure anymore," Rosemary says, making that arc I spoke of earlier.
Meryl sets off for Buchenwald and Tony, who has summoned her. His letter said he would arrange a meeting for Meryl and James, but now he's going back on it, saying restrictions are making it tough to manage that. Instead of showing her into a "visitor's room," Tony takes her to his bedroom, where Meryl immediately knows what will be required of her, though the scene plays out wonderfully slowly so give Meryl a chance to ponder how to maneuver this supremely evil man. Tony claims he can get letters back and forth and even get James a job in the art studio rather than outside, taking off his clothes to show what he expects in return. Though disgusted, she has to allow it.
Tovah is so serious about the resistance movement, she wears a beret, the international symbol of people series about the resistance movement. They are caught in Hungary, but Timothy overpowers a guard and steals a gun. Tovah wants to give up, but Timothy convinces her to keep going. They end up in Soviet-occupied territory. The leader wants to send them back to the Germans, but Timothy has Tovah tell him the Germans are turning on them and that her father was a good Communist (and he even has her kiss him). They go off to Kiev in the back of a hay wagon.
Tony is still playing go-between for Meryl and James, telling James that he receives payment, non-monetary, for his services. James is aghast, swearing no more letters. He's as upset at Meryl as he is at Tony.
Michael shows up on the Russian front to watch a demonstration killing. He's annoyed that there are Ukrainian civilians watching, that movie cameras and war correspondents are there, and that bullets are being wasted on "a carnival." He has no sympathy for the people being killed; he's only interested in efficiency. The officer he berates forces him to shoot some, to make him understand. There's a twinge of perhaps understanding, but he goes through with it, no worse for the experience.
Even in Warsaw, Rosemary clings to what she knows, teaching the kids to sing French songs. The class includes the ghetto's best smuggler, who can get through the wall. The Jewish council is told of what is happening in Eastern Europe, and that the only way to safety is to fight back, to smuggle in guns and ammo. Fritz encounters an interesting character when one of his nurses is arrested: a Jew who converts from the faith to stay in good with the Nazis. For the time being, no doubt his life is spared as he follows orders, but does he really think the Nazis won't circle back and kill anyone born Jewish? Sam decides to go with the Zionists and find ways to fight back.
Very conveniently, Meryl's soldier brother's life is saved by Timothy and Tovah, and he tells them about Timothy's various family members. But, when it comes time to save their lives, the brother rats them out. Don't worry, he gets blown up by the Red Army seconds later. They are marched to a work camp, but manage to escape on the way, only moments before the rest of the prisoners are gunned down en masse. Michael is watching, amazed that no one fights back. "That just proves they don't deserve to live," he's told. "Simply fantastic," he bleats in amazement at how many people are about to die. "Nobody will believe us. They will say we lied," Timothy says as he sees the shootings (and after Tovah's inevitable "hold me"). On his way back from the shooting, Michael encounters Uncle Robert. Uncle Robert sees through the party lines Michael shows, giving Michael a chance to defend it, making him more evil than ever.
Though Rosemary has no illusions anymore, she does keep photos of their family on the wall, as a way of hoping that somewhere someone might be safe. In fact, she's willing to give up the money she sewed into her coat to help the cause. When a Jew slips into the ghetto telling of what's really going on, the elders decide they have to get arms and fight back. Rosemary hands over all of her cash after overhearing the meeting.
It's Christmas at Michael's house, where Deborah is playing the Bechstein that once belonged to Rosemary and Fritz. Uncle Robert once again starts to question where the piano really came from, and Michael's son chirps that it came from Jews who "went away." The family is totally isolated from the truth of what Michael really does. When they find pictures of the family, Michael coldly tells his daughter to get rid of them and she tosses them into the fire. How prophetic.
James is transferred to the art department where he is supposed to make propaganda posters. He gets a letter from Meryl and he's still very angry. But, he's being transferred to Theresienstadt, which is the ghetto the Germans show to the rest of the world, a model ghetto with parks and painted buildings, all of it a phony facade.
Tovah is in a complaining mood, but Timothy finds raw potatoes, the two joking when they are surrounded by...resistance fighters!
In Theresienstadt, the artists paint the truth, but hide it in the radiators when the place is checked. This is something James can understand. When the Swedes come through, the workshop looks idyllic, with pictures of happy children and people at cafes.
Timothy is put on guard duty and Tovah follows him, and he asks if the rabbi will perform a wedding. In the midst of everything, they actually hold a wedding, complete with a veil, a huppa and a few instruments. It's a welcome bit of happiness in the middle of such strive and tenuous life. Unfortunately, as soon as the dancing starts, they find out the Nazis are coming and have to dash.
Himmler (Ian Holm) comes to pay a visit, watching executions with whole tables of food set up for a buffet. Himmler doesn't react well to the violence, insisting that they "find another way." Shooting is inefficient. However, he praises his soldiers in a doozie of a speech that compares Jews to bedbugs, a strange little lapse in writing here. But, he's supposed to be a buffoon. Other offices are tired of Michael's high-handed behavior, so they decide to destroy him. Unsigned letters arrive in Berlin about his Communist father and possible Jewish blood, none of which is true (the father was a socialist at best). He needs to come up with an idea quickly. He also knows who has been writing the letters, and he won't hesitate to turn them in if they don't come up with a mass murder solution quickly.
Timothy and company stage an ambush and Timothy has to kill for the first time. "I thought I was so tough," he says. But he is! He's managed to escape Berlin, Prague and every other center of horror in order to fight against the Germans. Tovah wants desperately to go to Palestine and Timothy agrees, but even in a miniseries of stellar as "Holocaust," the maxim holds: those who talk of the future rarely get to see it.
Back in Warsaw, Sam and his urchin friend sneak through the wall in order to buy the first gun for their opposition movement. They were expecting 12 guns, but there is only one. The Zionist gives them a lesson in how to use it. "Now all we need is ammunition," Sam says. "It's a beginning."
The Nazis have decided that Auschwitz will be increased in size, their grandest jewel. The man hired to run it is a devoted Nazi, taught to obey since childhood. Michael, of course, will be his liaison between the Nazis and this new horror master. Michael is at least realistic about the war, telling Deborah it was over for Germany the minute the US entered it. "Someday, people will tell monstrous lies about what we did," Michael says, crying that all he did was obey orders. It's his touch of conscience, but it's way too late. Any attempt to bring sympathy to this character has come too late. And he's not even telling the truth. He's done more active than passive work. David Warner is almost assassinated and all Deborah can worry about is that it might be a promotion for him. Michael comes across Zyklon B, the gas agent that will revolutionize mass murder, and it's cheap too, always a benefit.
We haven't seen Meryl in a while, but she's on her way to church, with Tony following her. He confesses his love for her, but she wants to be left alone. She's looking for the kindly priest who talked about the Jews, but he's been taken away to Dachau. Here comes the plot point that bothers me. Meryl ASKS to go to the concentration camp to be with her husband. It makes her the ultimate Christian martyr, and gives her a lot to play, but there has to be a better way to get her inside than simply asking to be sent!
The sketches that have been made in secret by James and his cohorts are in Nazi hands. But, one fool in the studio sold them for cigarettes and marmalade. But, it doesn't stop James and the others from painting their grim truths. Meryl arrives in the studio, having gotten her way, now part of the camp. He hasn't forgiven her for the way she made the letters happen, but she justifies her actions, hating him the whole time. She does not back down. She loves him that much.
The Nazis insists of the Warsaw elders that 6000 people per day be transported to "work camps" in Russia. But, it turns out it's really Treblinka and this is the first time the people in Warsaw hear of the mass gassing with proof. Even the BBC radio says something bad is happening in Poland, but nothing specific about gas chambers or the ghettos. They desperately need guns, and Fritz has an idea for saving at least a handful every day by setting up a clinic at the rail station. It's a good cover, but it can only save a few a day.
All of James' paintings have made it to the big cheeses. Michael intends to crush them, but he's worried about his own position since this happened on his watch. The artists are brought in to see Michael and Eichmann. The questioning doesn't get very far, and Michael targets James as the link he can break, talking "Berliner to Berliner." "That's the problem with you people, you can't forget the past," Michael tells him, but James does not crack. The artists are taken for a more severe questioning, as Meryl goes for the gold yelling in the street running after the truck bearing her husband. The three artists are taken for torture, suffering severe beatings in the most grizzly scene so far. As James is suffering a beating, Meryl is helping to smuggle out the pictures.
Deborah finds out the truth about Michael's work, and can't understand why he has any reservations about it. This makes her easily one of the top ten most frightful women in television history. Michael and the Nazis are awful, of course, but here is a character who has no reason to be involved or hate, but she's more interested than the Nazis themselves! Perhaps this is a way to help humanize Michael's character, but it doesn't work. That cannot possibly happen at this point, but she sure as hell does top him now.
Michael brings a hygiene expert to Auschwitz, where a band of prisoners, in costume, play classical music at this "family camp." Michael is clearly sickened by what he sees, but his career is such a concern, he has to make sure no one suspects. Again, it's too late to make us care about him or sympathize. A "demonstration" is put on for the visiting expert. He's thrilled to look through the viewing hole as people howl for their lives.
The fake clinic scam is figured out and everyone involved with it is ordered on the next train. Rosemary is teaching the kids the "Kadima" when she is arrested, putting up a pretense for the kids that she will be back the next day and they should finish out their day with Shakespeare. Now she's come around to knowing and even accepting the full truth, but comforting those around her. She's still the earth mother, still the calming presence, but this time completely in the know. She and Fritz, with George and his wife, are sent to Auschwitz.
It's been a while since we checked in with our resistance friends. Timothy dresses up in a German military outfit and kills two guards so the others can go in and raid a beer hall where the officers are having a party. It's a complete success. They shoot nearly everyone there and take heaps of ammunition. Timothy get shot in the leg, but it's not fatal..
As the final episode begins, Timothy is having a bullet pulled out of his leg, with Tovah a supportive, if over-protective, wife. She has her going-for-the-Emmy speech, and her speech is right: they can kill a few Germans here or there, but they will most likely die themselves.
James' friends have died from the beatings, but he's still alive, his hands destroyed so he can never paint again. He is being sent to Auschwitz, though he's allowed 30 minutes to say goodbye to his wife, who is pregnant. He wants her to get rid of the baby, but she insists, not on her Catholic beliefs, but on the words of the rabbis, that she will not and before he leaves, he tells her to show the child all the pictures they have drawn.
In the Warsaw ghetto, plans are still afoot for an uprising. Three hundred thousand have been taken from the ghetto and only 50,000 remain, but the Nazis are suspicious, going from house to house checking for contraband. Sam gets his first chance to kill and he does not hesitate. Even the smuggling boy knocks a few off. "There is a God after all. Jews fighting back!" Sam declares. After killing a slew of Nazis, the latter retreat. They are even brave enough to take off their arm bands.
At Auschwitz, Rosemary still clings to her family pictures. Fritz is able to sneak into her barracks. Fritz thinks there is still a chance they will survive, but Rosemary is now the more realistic one. She knows the truth. A young girl is given to the care of Rosemary who is like her own daughter, mute after shock. It's then that the guards come in and take everyone away. She leaves the pictures and takes the mute girl. To the last, Rosemary holds the girl with her.
Then comes the moment that, for me, defines the whole movie: Rosemary is led into the gas chamber and it's James who comes in to collect the clothes of those just sent in. It's utterly heartbreaking, more so because the characters have no idea.
Fritz and George are part of the road crew, but Fritz is having breathing trouble due to the tar. Uncle Robert is running the crew and takes pity on him, having him tend the fire rather than pave the road. At this very moment, Michael shows up. They are feet away from his old doctor, Fritz, and Michael does not see him. He and Uncle Robert have a frank discussion, with Michael clinging to his beliefs. "I should strangle you as a favor to your father," Uncle Robert snaps before tossing Michael out of his little hut.
Fritz and George find out their wives are dead from the Jewish woman who led them to the gas chamber, though she barks the now stomach-turningly familiar, "I was just following orders," the excuse of an entire nation. Fritz at least finds Rosemary's pictures and her sheet music (that she took all over the place?).
Sam has turned into a gun-toting realist. It's Passover and Himmler has promised Hitler to liquidate the ghetto for his birthday. The Nazis send a truck in with Passover wishes, but they shoot the truck back. Unfortunately, the Nazis have a big force to send in. That posse flees in an instant. The Nazis return in full force as the Seder is going on. Okay, I admit, the dichotomy is being laid on awfully thick, but it's impossible not to be swept up in the moment. A big battle ensues, and the Nazis retreat, but that leaves the Warsaw Jews have no food or medicine as the weeks wear on. They print up leaflets and the smuggler kid helps the guy take them out. Now they are even out of paper. The guy with the leaflets is shot right as he gets through the wall, but the papers are strewn around so people can see them. The Nazis bomb with gas and some of the warriors have cyanide tablets. Others try to run for it. Those who left the buildings are found by the Nazis and shot up against a wall.
Michael makes one last attempt to save his career by turning in Uncle Robert's Jewish work detail (Jews are marked for death, not work). So, that means Fritz and George are taken off the road and send for "delousing."
Timothy and company have planned to blow up a convoy, but they Nazis somehow know and chase the fighters through the woods. Tovah is killed by a bullet and the survivors end up in Sobibor, where an escape plan is in full swing.
Himmler wants the camps dismantled because he knows the war is lost. But, Michael, now so crazed by doctrine that he's pretty much insane, says the camps should remain as monuments to what they have done, which was pre-destined in European history. It's a rah rah speech that a few years earlier would have had him promoted up the ranks, but with the war nearly over, it just seems pathetic.
James finds out his parents were killed in the same camp, but his friend from Buchenwald thinks they will be saved as the Americans and Soviets are advancing.
At Sobibor, Timothy is a major part of the escape, which works. He and the Russian soldiers flee the camp. They Russians go east and Timothy decides to go west to search for his family. There won't be anyone to find, as James has died doing one last drawing before the Nazis went on a killing rampage. Michael is hauled in by the Americans to explain his acts and does his best to stick to the party line, as always. Though he winces or swallows now and then, he refuses to tell the truth. After one last look through his beloved pictures of the atrocities, he swallows his poison tablet, a coward to the end.
Deborah gets a letter saying her husband died a hero, and Uncle Robert says it's untrue. He tells her the real story of his death, but she and her kids will not listen to what he has to say. He refuses to back down, feeling guilty that he stood by and watched. "I won't be silent," he says as he goes to leave. One can only hope the final suffering goes to Deborah when she finally admits the truth.
Timothy is still alive and has made it to the great ghetto where he finds Meryl and her son, having stayed on once the camps are all liberated. They are the only ones left, having not seen each other for seven years. She still has the drawings as well. "I'm a kind of blank. No hate, no love, like the living dead walking through the camps," he says, unable to place any blame.
The film ends almost where it began, with Timothy playing soccer with kids. It will be his job to teach the next generation. He is offered a job helping get Jews to Palestine.
So it ends, with a note of hope, but a mind full of heartbreaking memories. "Holocaust" is brave and honest, as brave and honest as the lead characters it shows us over 7.5 supremely memorable hours. In the annals of historical miniseries, this ranks as one of the greatest history lessons ever, gritty and unyielding, but true through and through.
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